Hogsmeade

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Closed.

Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: The Heart of the School  (Read 155 times)

Morrin Midnight

  • Gryffindor
  • Fourth-year Student
  • ****
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 357
    • View Profile
The Heart of the School
« on: September 24, 2004, 12:54:09 PM »

I've decided that I'm gonna have a try at HP fanfiction but my time on the computer is almost up so I'm gonna have to post the first chapter later  :'(
Logged

Tiamat

  • Slytherin
  • Prefect
  • Sixth-year
  • *****
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 999
  • Voldy-chan!!
    • View Profile
    • The inside of my head at fanfiction.net...because I'm too lazy to make a real site.
Re: The Heart of the School
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2004, 04:40:20 PM »

Okay! *sits and waits for story, readying a bag of peanuts to throw, or possibly eat*

Just kidding...maybe...
Logged
If you're going to be evil, do it right.

Morrin Midnight

  • Gryffindor
  • Fourth-year Student
  • ****
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 357
    • View Profile
Re: The Heart of the School
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2004, 07:19:45 PM »

Okay*starts yabbering* i'm not really a typing person i'm just gonna edit it later.  Love comments so feel free to dish 'em out^.^.

Here's a bit of the first chapter:

The Castle and The Biginning

:::It was a warm sping day.  The castle was almost done,  only two dormitories and the Great Hall needed to be finished.  The whole massive building was made of stone,  something almost unheard of in King Alfred's time.

:Beside the castle was silent forest,  beautiful and full of life .  Beneath one of it's large oaks sat two men,  both in there mid forties.  One of men was pale and had stringy black hair,  the other looked as if he had been kissed by the sun.

:"I will only teach those of pure blood with lots of ambition."  started the pale one while play with a blade of grass.
 
:"As you will."  said the sun kissed one with a hint of laughter in his voice.

:"Well who will you teach?  Probably those with that stupid sence of bravery you have."the pale one sneered.

:"What a great idea Sal!"  he piped up with a grin on his face.

:"You're just saying that to get under my skin Godric."  said Sal, irritated.

:"Oh no Salazar." said the man named Godric.  "I wonder who Roena and Helga are going to teach?"

:"You won't have to wait long cause there they are and they don't look to happy with us."

:"What?"  Godric croaked looking up from the ground.

: There were two angry looking woman storming right in their derection.

I'll post a bit more later :)
« Last Edit: October 29, 2004, 08:14:04 PM by Morrin Midnight »
Logged

Morrin Midnight

  • Gryffindor
  • Fourth-year Student
  • ****
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 357
    • View Profile
Re: The Heart of the School
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2004, 10:24:48 AM »

What'cha think about the first post?
Logged

Xan

  • Slytherin
  • Fifth-year
  • *****
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 462
  • We are better than you
    • View Profile
    • Enter my lair ...
Re: The Heart of the School
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2004, 11:27:06 AM »

Don't take this post personally, but ...

I think it's an interesting concept. It's not one of those been-done-to-death HP stories ... but your actual writing needs a lot of work. Things such as typos/spelling errors and weird formatting (might want to lose the ':'s), to name a few - why don't you try typing your stuff on Word or something before posting it? That would sort those out.

 :)
Logged
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

"Do you ever get embarassed at being so thoroughly and consistently mistaken?" ~ Vergere

Spell check is your friend.

Morrin Midnight

  • Gryffindor
  • Fourth-year Student
  • ****
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 357
    • View Profile
Re: The Heart of the School
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2004, 11:55:58 AM »

Thanks Xan.I sorta have trouble with spelling 'cause I go to a french school and we only have english two times a week
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up