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Author Topic: Morgana's wild predictions  (Read 183 times)

Morgana McCawber

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Morgana's wild predictions
« on: November 08, 2003, 02:12:45 AM »

I first posted these as a joke over in the Shrieking Shack.  I decided I wanted to do more, but thought it would be more appropriate over here.  So, first the old, then I'll post some new ones. ^^


And now for Morgana's wild, uninformed, and completely inaccurate (we hope) predictions!  Why bother?  Because a) it's fun, and b) there's no way I can hope to predict the actions of JKR, so I might as well be entertaining with my answers.  Here we go!


First off, towards the end of book 6 Snape will be badly hurt while he's out a-spying and will lose his memory and thus all his conscious wizarding powers.  At the end of book 7 we will learn that he was taken in and cared for by a roving band of hair stylists where he learned to get in touch with his feminine side.  Eventually he will open up his own salon.

Dumbledore will die in the middle of the opening feast in book 6 from congestive heart failure due primarily to eating too many sweets.  The shock will cause Hagrid to mourn for several days, wailing about how he should have done something.  He will get over it.  Dumbledore will not.

Hermione and Ron will hook up in book 6.  Well, technically they will hook up before book 6.  It will be revealed that during their time together during the summer before book 5 they had already decided they were madly in love with each other and eloped when nobody was looking.  They kept fighting and teasing each other in book 5 because they didn't want anybody to suspect.  They finally have to fess up when they're caught making out in a hall closet.

Speaking of relationships, towards the middle of book 7 Draco will be unable to hold it in any longer and will finally announce to the entire school that he's out of the closet, and he loves Harry Potter.  The teasing will eventually be what drives Harry to run away from the school and accidentally stumble across Voldemort's lair where they have the final showdown.  (side note: Voldemort's lair will be in a gas station ladies' room)

As for the final showdown, during the fight, Harry will finally get the clue that there are other ways of killing/torturing somebody with magic other than the forbidden curses.  He will defeat Voldemort with the simple phrase, "Accio lungs."
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Morgana McCawber

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The return of Morgana's wild predictions
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2003, 02:27:05 AM »

Now for the new stuff!


Viktor Krum will return in book seven to ask for Hermione's hand in marriage.  Learning that she has already been married to Ron for two years, he will walk out of the school in a daze right into the Forbidden Forest where he will be eaten.  After his death he will return as a ghost bent on haunting Hermione and Ron for causing his demise, but will miss and end up haunting Filch's underpants for all eternity.

Filch (who wisely changed out of said haunted underpants and locked them in a dungeon) will be revealed as James Bond's half brother who is also working for Her Majesty's Secret Service.  The very end of book seven will have him approaching Harry Potter asking how he thinks he would look in a tuxedo.

Professor McGonagall will not be appointed the new Headmistress after Dumbledore's untimely death.  In a move that completely baffles students and faculty alike, Professor Trelawny will be appointed.  Amazingly, once she is convinced she doesn't have to keep up the "great seer" act anymore, she makes a pretty decent Headmistress.

As for what will actually happen to Professor McGonagall, the appointment of Professor Trelawny will send her over the edge of sanity, where she had been teetering ever since Dumbledore's death.  The last we see of her will be at the end of book six as she strips down to her nightdress and runs off into the sunset singing bawdy drinking songs.
« Last Edit: November 08, 2003, 02:27:45 AM by Morgana McCawber »
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Angelina Tonks

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Re:Morgana's wild predictions
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2003, 07:21:44 AM »

That would make some good Harry Potter books! That's really funny Morgana!  ;D
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Re:Morgana's wild predictions
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2003, 08:03:45 PM »

LOL! That's so funny!

Do you write fanfiction? If not, you should. I'd read it.
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Morgana McCawber

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Re:Morgana's wild predictions
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2003, 02:02:57 AM »

I do write fanfic, but other than a little itty bitty piece that's hard to find (*cough*for a reason*cough*), I've never written any HP fanfiction.  If you're really interested, most of what I've written is on fanfiction.net  My user name there is "Genjo Sanzo"

I'll put more predictions up soon (after all, I'm not nearly all the way through the characters >)  ), but today hasn't been a day for writing funny stuff.
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Cho Chung

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Re:Morgana's wild predictions
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2003, 01:25:43 PM »

Wow!  You'd almost be in the running for editor in chief of the Quibbler!
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Re:Morgana's wild predictions
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2003, 07:29:10 PM »

Don't do it! She's EVIL to her fan-fic characters. *sob*

Actually, I haven't read it....

Nice predictions though...*snicker* I came up with a couple I ought to post some time when I stop being lazy.
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Re:Morgana's wild predictions
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2003, 08:47:23 AM »

Haha ... I like those. :D
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Cerberus

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Re:Morgana's wild predictions
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2003, 08:52:24 AM »

They're brilliant! If you have any more ideas, please post them :D
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