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Tiamat

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My Attmept at a Story
« on: August 12, 2002, 11:46:52 PM »

     The first installment of a random HP story I started writing, um...a few hours ago. Okay more than a few. Hey, I baby sit a seven year old all day, it's good for the imagination. It takes place some time before the books and some time after Voldemort’s er...trouble. I may or may not finish it, depending on whether I can hook up the beginning with the ending. Go figure.
     This part has nothing to do with anything, but I’m putting it up because if I don’t I’m just going to keep editing and re-editing the first few paragraphs until I never can get anywhere else. So I’m going to put it away for now and do more tomorrow.

Tell me what you think. Warning, I’m no professional. I just write for fun, when the fancy takes me. Anyone who is offended by bad literature and/or gratuitous
self-insertion into other people’s universes can stop now. Not that I think anyone here has that problem. ;)


The Trouble with Houses

   Tiamat Raven wandered through the halls of Hogwarts, half trying to get lost. Getting lost would be an excuse not to go to potions class. Admittedly, it wouldn’t be a good excuse, but it would be a excuse. She closed her eyes, spun around and set off in
a random direction, up some stairs, around a corner, through two doors and down a short hallway that led her to...an exit to the side lawn. Tia slumped against the doorframe. That hadn’t worked right at all. She’d just started to turn back, when a familiar voice called out to her.
   “Hey, Tia! Wait up!” Tia looked over her shoulder. Kerry Madden was running across the field, his  outer robe thrown over one arm, shedding dried leaves and grass blades as if it had been used for ground cover. Or never washed. Or both. Tia sighed and brushed a non-existent speck of dust from her own sleeve. Some days you just couldn’t get lost.
   “Hey Kerry. Long time no see.”
   “Er, I saw you at lunch, an hour ago, remember?” Sarcasm never had any effect on Kerry. It was probably why he was in Hufflepuff. “You’re on your way to potions, right?” Kerry continued. “I’ll go with you. Maybe that way I won’t be late.”
   Wonderful, now there was no way out of it. “Sure. I’m never late.” Tia stalked back up the hallway, resisting the urge to kick the door shut behind her. In the way of
finding someone to blame Kerry’s appearance on, she wondered who’s bright idea it had been to pair Slytherin and Hufflepuff together for potions. The Slytherins walked all over the Hufflepuffs and Professor Snape let them. They really should put Slytherin with a class that wouldn’t be so easily outdone, like Gryffindor. That, of course, would be asking for an intra-school war, and she doubted the teachers were so stupid.
   “Tia?” Kerry interrupted her train of thought. “You’re going the wrong way.”
   Tia stopped and looked around. She’d done it! She was sure she’d never been in this particular stretch of hallway before. “It’s a short cut,” she insisted, after pondering briefly on the ethics of getting Kerry in trouble along with her. “Avoids the crowds in the main hall.” Grabbing his sleeve, she dragged the unsuspecting Hufflepuff after her.
   Turning down the dusty hallway, she dashed through the first door she saw, which led to some disused stairs going down. Cheerfully, dispite Kerry’s protests, she continued down the stairs and out the door at the bottom which opened a hidden wall right across from the potions classroom. Tia stared at it in disbelief.
   “Wow!” said Kerry. “So that’s how you get to class so
fast!”
   “Er...of course!” Tia shook her head. “You know, I just realized I forgot my potions book, you go ahead and I’ll just run and get it....” She spun around and smacked straight into Professor Snape, who had been quietly waiting for them to clear the hallway. Her bag thudded to the floor as she backed quickly away.
   “You mean, this potions book?” Snape said coldly, picking up a volume that had been tossed from Tia’s bag during the collision.
   “Oh, um....yes, actually. Fancy that, I thought I’d forgotten it...” Snape just looked at her, then sniffed loudly and walked on into the room. Kerry finished gathering the last of her things and handed them back with a wry smile.
   “So,” he said. “You were trying to avoid class, weren’t you? I see Snape’s still mad about last time.”
   “He’ll be mad about that till the end of the year.” Tia snatched her bag. “Probably till the end of next year.”
   “You know, you’re probably the only Slytherin who can get Snape to take points from his own House.”
   “Don’t even bring it up, please?” They headed on into the classroom. Much to Tia’s chagrin they were early, and there was nothing to do but sit and try to avoid Snape’s uncomfortably direct stare for five more minutes. Tia had just finished rearranging her reagents for the third time when the bell finally rang. Snape rapped on the edge of his cauldron, causing Tia to jump and nearly spill her hippopotamus hairs.
   “Today we will continue to study advanced usage of rare insects for the creation of semi-solid media. As you all know, we should have finished this topic earlier, if certain people had not facilitated a rapid exodus
from the classroom during the demonstration on Monday.” Tia tried to keep the head of the girl in front between her and Snape. “Since that proved to
be necessary, I will repeat that these potions are not supposed to be incendiary and, this is important, there should absolutely no usage of pickled termite drones in the mixture, only queens. Am I understood? Very well.” Snape let his gaze pass over Tia again, while she ostentatiously stared at the ceiling. “Now open your books to page 158. We will begin with re-mixing liquefying reagent, since our entire stock of it seems to have mysteriously gone up in flames.”
   Tia gave up any pretense of pride and buried her face in her arms. Snape just didn’t know when to let a subject drop! She would never live this down. What was the difference between drones and queens anyway? They both had wings and they looked exactly the same, at least until they started burning, and she had been so sure...
   “While that’s boiling we can go over the ratios of termites to assassin bugs that should be used in the final mixture. That is, unless anyone in this class thinks they have more experience in such matters than I?” Tia peered out of a crack between her fingers. Snape was staring at her. “Raven? Perhaps you would like to tell us what the correct ratio is?”
   Tia dropped her hands, defeated. “The correct ratio is five-sixths to one,” she muttered.
   “Hmmmm? We couldn’t hear you, Raven.”
   “Five-sixths to one, sir.” Tia snapped, and then could have hit herself for letting it come out like that.
   To her surprise, Snape didn’t jump on it. “Very good Raven. Take five points for actually studying to rectify your mistakes.” There was a groan from the Hufflepuffs. Well, it wasn’t like five points did much to equalize the
massive loss she’d gotten for, um, scorching the entire lab. Not to mention the extra minus from Madame Pomphrey for the sudden overflow of patients in the infirmary.
   “Are you going to help me with this, or are you going to sulk for the whole period?” Kerry asked, next to her.
   “I’m not sulking. I was...thinking about my mixture. Very carefully.” Kerry giggled. “Oh shut up.”
   “Calm down. I think Snape’s over it. Didn’t he just give you points? A vendetta against his own House couldn’t last long.”
   “Against the House, maybe not, but against me...he can make my life miserable without bringing points into
it.”
   “Oh come on, he’s not that vindictive.”
   “You’ve never shared a common room with him.”
   “Point. We’d better get to work, he’s heading this way.” Tia scrambled for her reagents, and only Kerry’s quick hand kept her from adding the entire vial of assassin bug juice to the cauldron.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:20:18 PM by Tiamat »
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SeaShelly3

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2002, 03:45:46 AM »

That was really good! I dont

know how to give an actual critique, but I can tell you that that was pretty funny. ^_^
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Sabriel Saraneth

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2002, 01:02:58 PM »

Yeah, I  liked it - Im not a writer at all,

and Id never write if I didnt have the choice, so I commend you for doing what I would never do. Okay, that didnt come out right. Never mind, it was great -

I hope to see more of it!  :)
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Tiamat

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2002, 06:49:45 PM »

*giggle* I'll, um, take that as a

compliment, ne?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2002, 08:27:37 PM »

Yes, a complement. Dont think

about what I just said, just pretend I said something good.  ::)
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Tiamat

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2002, 10:10:22 PM »

Part two, a bit shorter this time, due to the fact that I couldn't word anymore of it right and was depressing myself. Sheesh. Why I always get my inspiration late at night I don't know, but here we go again :)

A couple of thoughts....what was the name of the care of magical creatures teacher before Hagrid got the job? And the divination woman? I have a horrible memory, and my books are still in Utah so I can't look anything up right now, thus I'm being kind of vague on basic
things like names. Sorry.



   Tia floated on a cushion of air she’d carefully constructed between her and the Quidditch-field grass. The clouds floated by overhead, sailing towards a sunset that was only just turning orange. She watched one that looked like a dragon until it broke up. Finding that somewhat depressing she followed another that, if she squinted her eyes just so, could be a dragon. Maybe. Okay not at all. It looked like a rabbit, but she wished it was a dragon. It all came of having a name most people could only call ‘original’. Most original name in the whole school. This year anyway. Stupid parents. Had to give her a name that teachers would never, ever forget. Stupid other parents, for giving their children boring names. Stupid everything. Tia was feeling decidedly out of sorts, and glad of it.
   “So, how was the rest of your day?” Kerry plopped down on the grass beside her, sending up a spray of dried leaves that completely defeated the purpose of her air cushion.
   “About the same.” Tia grimaced and started picking leaves out of her hair. “We were studying salamanders in Care of Magical Creatures, and of course they gave me the only non-magical one in the group, by accident, they said. Ha! Then McGonagall wouldn’t let me bring my potion supplies into her classroom. ‘Miss Tiamat Raven,’ she says,” Tia mimicked the Professor’s voice perfectly, if a little high-pitched. “I hate that! All because I corrected her that one time on the origins of my name! Some people just can’t stand to realize there’s something in the universe they didn’t already know. ‘I don’t allow inflammatory substances in my classroom.’ When did she ever say that? Hmmm? So I left it out in the hall, where of course Peeves took off with it. That stupid little pseudo-ghost! I had to chase him all over Hogwarts, and even then he wouldn’t give it back until I threatened to let the Bloody Baron shave his ectoplasmic head. With a dull razor!
   “As if that wasn’t enough for one day, I was horribly late for Charms because I had to go dump my cauldron and stuff in the commons room, since Peeves managed to get chalk-dust all over it. So of course Flitwick used me for a guinea pig to demonstrate all the new enchantments. Except our dear Professor got one wrong, yes, and I had to stay after class for an extra twenty minutes while he worked out how to get my hands unstuck from the frog.” Tia picked up a twig and
snapped in half, then in quarters, then eighths. “I ran back to the commons room, but of course I was too late. We just had to have cleaning inspections today, and there was Professor Snape staring pointedly at my cauldron which someone’s cat had knocked all over the rug, and me with bits of frog still dripping off my robe...ow!” Tia hissed and pulled a splinter out of her finger.
   “Oh.” said Kerry. Tia threw a rock at him. “Hey...at least nothing else could possibly go wrong today.”
   “No, but tonight is still a viable option.” Tia glared up at the darkening sky. “Five years of study, perfecting my techniques, and in one day I’m transformed from A-student to all-subject jinx. I think I’ll leave school.”
   “Oh come on, it’s not that bad. It’ll blow over.”
   “I know. Can’t you just let me gripe for once without trying to make it better?”
   “Nah. It’s not in my nature.”
   “Stupid Hufflepuff.”
   “Hey, not all of us want to be in Slytherin.”
   “I don’t see why not.”
   “Well, there’s always Snape....”
   “Point.” They sat in silence for a while, watching the stars come out.
   “Then of course, there’s all those dark wizards that keep popping out of the woodwork.”
   “Nothing wrong with that. Personally, I think I’d make a great dark wizard.”
   “That’s not funny.”
   “You brought it up.”
   “Point.” There was silence again.
   “So, Tia....speaking of dark wizards....how’s your dad?” Kerry looked sideways at her.
   “That was the stupidest lead-in I’ve ever heard. If you wanted to ask, why didn’t you just do it?”
   “I don’t know. I mean, I do, but it’s stupid. After you and your mom moved out of the area, and I didn’t hear from you all summer, I was kind of worried. Then we came here and you’ve been, well, kind of odd.”
   “Odd? Me? Fancy that, coming from you. How so?”
   “Just like that. You talk real fast and jump all over the place and avoid certain subjects without really seeming
to.”
   “I wasn’t avoiding it, but you said....” Tia stopped. “Oh. Well I guess I don’t really notice a
difference.”
   “Of course not. But I didn’t talk to you all summer, so I do.”
   Tia was quiet for a while, thinking. It was not a good day for this. Why couldn’t he have brought the subject up before? It made sense, though. The Raven and Madden families had been friends for a long time, and Tia and Kerry had pretty much lived in each other’s houses growing up. Of course he’d notice. She considered bursting into tears and fleeing from the field, just to make him feel bad, but she didn’t. She’d feel too stupid about it later. Finally she sighed and decided to get it over with.
   “They released him from Azkaban this summer. That’s why we moved away.”



« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:23:54 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2002, 02:08:35 AM »

im liking

it.......

ummm...thats all.....
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Lauren Weasley

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2002, 08:39:03 PM »

wow, very nice. I usually

can't get invested in the stories of original characters, but no Mary Sues here. Good job.

Tiamat

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2002, 11:27:52 PM »

I hate M. Sues. Most of the stories I

think of don't get written for that very reason. They're far too silly. So to speak. Usually I can't finish a story because there's no way of getting my

character to the end without making him/her perfect. So I have to fit my stories around my characters rather than vice versa. It makes for some very

strange plot-twists, while my character does something completely opposite from what I had planned. *sigh* that probably makes no sense, but it's true.

I hope I actually finish this one, it's starting to go all over the place in my head. *grin* Scary.
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Tiamat

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2002, 12:30:07 AM »

Part three. Shorter and shorter they come. Once again, it's because I have to get things out, before I edit the life out of them :) Why am I making excuses anyway? It's my stupid story! *giggle*



   “Oh.” Kerry tried to conceal the worry that passed across his face and failed miserably. “That’s...good.”
   Tia shook her head. “You accuse me of avoiding subjects and suddenly you can’t talk straight. It is not good, but not the way you think.” She glared at Kerry, who was looking for something disarming to say, no doubt. “The mindless husk they released from that slime-hole of a prison is no threat to anyone. He’s a babbling idiot, Kerry! He can’t speak intelligibly most of the time and when he does speak...he says the most terrible things without even knowing it. Can’t concentrate on anything. Doesn’t see, or even think so far as I can tell. We had to hand-feed him all summer. There’s...nothing left there. Nothing to be afraid of.”
   “That’s...good.” Kerry said again, then whacked
his forehead with his fist. “Tia...I’m sorry...”
   “Oh drop it, you’re right. It’s good. They wouldn’t have released him if he was whole. Dangerous. What I want to know is, why release him at all? Why not tell us he’s dead, get rid of him quietly? Why send us back a shell, a body with no....person? Just to make room in their stupid, overcrowded prison. To take the drain off the Ministry’s treasury and dump it on my mother and I. As
if we could afford this better! After all that happened!” Tia’s second rock ricocheted off one of the Quidditch posts. The sound echoed off the stands surrounding the silent field.
   “But that’s not all.” Tia continued, cutting Kerry off before he could say something she didn’t want to
hear. “I think...it was kind of...a warning. You know? ‘This is what happens. Evil never wins. Don’t cross us, or you’ll end up like him.’” Tia hissed under her breath. “Don’t you see? They’re warning us. One of our family went bad. Horribly, terribly wrong. Why not another? Why not mother? My uncle? Why not me?”
   “Tia, I think you’re getting a bit carried away. Lots of wizarding families were involved in the...war...in one way or another. Everyone’s got relatives, friends, acquaintances that...went bad.”
   “Of course.” Tia smiled slightly, just visible in the
dark. “But my family is born and raised Slytherin. Generations of Hogwarts-graduate Slytherins. And you know...” Tia leaned forward with a mock-conspiratorial whisper. “Most of the wizards that went bad were from Slytherin. Almost all, in fact. You’d really be hard-put to find one that wasn’t. V-Voldemort himself was from the House. Everyone knows there’s something about us, the certain quality, undefined, that makes Slytherins evil....”
   “Tia...stop it...”
   “And then, of course, I got sorted into just that same house...like father like daughter, yes? Maybe I’ll catch the Slytherin bug, hmmm? Better send out that warning....”
   Kerry stood up suddenly. “Okay, I know exactly what’s wrong with you Slytherins. You are suffering from a severe case of ego-flu. Get off your high horse, Tia. I know you’re just dying to believe the Ministry of Magic is frightened of you, but they have lots of other stuff to think about, yes? You’re hardly shaping up to become a second You-Know-Who, eh?” Kerry gathered up his cloak and stalked off towards the entrance.
   “I didn’t mean it that way!” Tia scrambled to her feet, but Kerry was already half-way to the exit. “Hey! Wait.” When he didn’t slow, she stamped her foot, refusing to chase after him like a stupid child. “You brought it up!” She yelled. “You asked! Why ask....if you don’t want to know....” She trailed off, staring at the empty exit.
   “Idiot,” she whispered, not quite sure if she meant Kerry or herself.




« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:27:14 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2002, 04:19:47 PM »

ooo, I like. I want more! I

like Kerry, he's cool.

Tiamat

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2002, 10:04:47 PM »

As per Lauren's request...




   A few days later Tia was sitting in the Slytherin commons room, attempting to re-educate Derrell Silvern's hand-me-down chess set. From her lap, The Court of Nine Queens’ Leftover Ember tried to grab a bishop. The sudden lack of attention was seriously annoying the cat.
   "Put the knight down. That's right. Yes, they are allowed to jump over your head, and...Hey! Don't eat that queen! Spit her out! Derrell!" Tia grabbed hold of the offending rook and attempted to extricate her queen from its throat.
   "Disanimate!" A spark from Derrell's wand touched the pieces and they fell apart, hitting the table with wooden clicks. Tia gathered up her pieces, frowning at the tooth marks all over her queen. "I give up. You just tell your brother he can have his set back, they're beyond hope. Wait, I've got a better idea. Re-animate that rook and stick it under his bed sheets tonight. Maybe then he'll discipline his own chessmen, yes?"
               Derrell snickered. "I'll keep that in mind." Just then a loud knocking was heard on the hidden door to the commons room. Derrell and Tia both looked at it for a minute. The knocking got louder.
              “Well, aren’t you going to get it?” Tia snapped.
              “Why don’t you get it?”
              “You’re standing already.”
              Derrell rolled his eyes and stalked over to the doorway. He stepped out into the hallway beyond for a moment and then reappeared, smirking. “Hey, you don’t hang out with Hufflepuffs, do you?”
              “No.” That was true, anyway. She only hung out with one Hufflepuff.      
   “Well, there’s one at the door, asking for you. Go figure.” Tia rolled her eyes and extricated herself from the chair and her cat. It was probably Kerry coming to apologize, finally. She’d wondered when he was going to get around to it. Derrell was great for hanging out, but he was terrible at potions. Tia was looking forward to having her old partner back.
             “What do you want? You’re ruining my reputation here.” Tia blinked. The girl staring at her
from across the hall was definitely not Kerry. “Er…I mean…I thought you were Kerry.”
            “No, he’s still avoiding you like the plague, haven’t you noticed?” Obviously this Hufflepuff didn’t have Kerry’s sarcastic disability.
           “Fine. What do you want?”
           “I want you to apologize to Kerry.”
           Tia stared. Then she started to laugh, she couldn’t help it. “Me? Apologize to him? I think not. Is that all?”
           “No!” The Hufflepuff girl shook her head angrily. “I can’t stand to be in the same room with him anymore, and I have to put up with him as potions partner! All he can do is complain about you, or stomp around the commmons room, sulking. It’s really pathetic, so why don’t you just apologize and we can all be rid of it?”
     This was a little much. “Excuse me, but I’m wondering why, if everyone’s so unhappy, you don’t tell Kerry himself to come over here and apologize. I certainly don’t need to be reprimanded by some Hufflepuff lackey!”
           The girl was getting annoyed now. “You Slytherins are all the same! You can’t ever stand to show a little humility, especially if it helps someone else.”
          Okay, that was it. Tia grabbed the girl by the arm and marched her to the end of the hall. “This has nothing to do with houses, understand me? If I hear one more stupid comment about how Slytherins are like this and Hufflepuffs are like that, I will personally find myself a new Slytherin role model and throw you off the highest tower in Hogwarts, understand?”
       “Let go of me!” The girl pulled hard at Tia’s grip. At the last minute Tia let go and the girl stumbled to keep her balance. “I don’t know why I even tried.” She snapped. “I thought it would do some good, but I think I’d better tell Kerry just to leave well enough alone. He must be better off without you for a friend.” She turned and stalked off down the hall.
          Tia shook her head. What was that all about? Stupid Hufflepuffs, always trying to do some good, and inevitably botching it. She wasn’t really fighting with Kerry, it was just a friendly squabble. So they’d said some stupid things late at night when they were both tired. And then they’d made it worse the next day at breakfast, but that was no big deal. And all that avoiding each other in the hallways was just part of the game. They’d both get over it soon enough…right?
           She peered back in the commons room. Derrell had disappeared into the dormitory, and Ember was curled up in Tia’s vacated chair, looking like she had no intention of moving any time soon. Stupid cat. Tia had no idea why she liked her so much. She turned and walked down the hall instead, enjoying her bad mood. All she needed now was someone else to yell at, that
would just put the cap on it. She turned into one of the main hallways, almost deserted as the day drew to its close. She stepped onto a staircase and waited for it to swing across the shaft to the other side. Then she rode it back.
           Stupid Kerry. After everything that went on this week, now she had to deal with his little snit. Couldn’t he take a joke? She hadn’t been serious about that whole Voldemort thing. Certainly not. After living through that whole mess, two extremely frightened children, with Deatheaters swarming around and people just randomly disappearing and then reappearing in twelve different places… how could he even think she would try to… Tia leaned over the rail and peered down the shaft with no real interest. Idiot. She’d just
been stressed and annoyed, and she always said stupid things at night, he knew that.
          Tia glanced up, surprised by a sudden lack of movement. The staircase had stopped in the middle of the shaft. She kicked at a railing experimentally. The staircase moved a few inches then shuddered to a stop
again.
         “Move, you piece of….of…” Lacking a suitable epithet, she kicked the rail again. “Move!” she jumped on the tiles a few times.        
     “That is hardly the way to go about it, Miss Tiamat Raven.” A familiar voice spoke from one of the entrances to the stairwell. Tia looked up at Professor McGonagall. “These stairs can be ornery at times and must be handled with care, or they get insulted.
           Insulted? Tia tried not to laugh. “Professor, with all due respect, stairs…do…not…think!” She punctuated each word with a further blow to the stairs, and finally, grudgingly, they creaked across the gap and reattached themselves next to McGonagall. Tia hopped off, grinned at the Professor, and then turned and bowed elaborately to the retreating stairs.
   “A very pretty show, Miss Tiamat Raven, but would you kindly tell me how you’re going to get them to carry you back to your dormitory now? Where you have to be in,” she looked at her watch. “Five minutes?”
               “Er…” Tia paused. Then she turned and dashed down the hall. “I know a shortcut!” she called back.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:32:29 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #12 on: August 23, 2002, 02:25:34 AM »

this story is just getting

better and better!
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #13 on: August 23, 2002, 09:35:47 AM »

Why thank you, AZ. Fancy that, I

got a compliment from AZ! *dance*
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #14 on: August 23, 2002, 06:20:46 PM »

Wow! I had a lot to read there...good

story...I like how the plots going...  :)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2002, 07:29:39 PM »

Plot? I had a plot? Uh oh

*scribbles note to self to add plot at next suitable interval*
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2002, 07:34:00 PM »

Lol...no seriously,  I really like it.  

:)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2002, 10:24:43 PM »

aww, make up with Kerry!

Kerry is cool! *grins*

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2002, 11:31:20 PM »

I refuse. He's a dork, sheesh, am I

the only one who sees it? *grin* just kidding. I like Kerry too. So to speak. Don't anyone interpret that.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #19 on: August 24, 2002, 02:08:03 AM »

wherever you take the

story, make uping or not, im sure it will be interesting.....i really want to see where the short cut takes her....
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2002, 03:10:38 PM »

So, Tia, have you

managed to write any more since school started?  You left us at a bit of a cliffhanger, you know.

This may be an odd question, and if the answer

is no, please ignore it entirely because it will mean you're not who I think you are, but do you, by any chance, live in a pit?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #21 on: October 17, 2002, 06:16:36 PM »

I don't believe Tia is

currently active...
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #22 on: October 17, 2002, 06:31:36 PM »

yeah, she hasn't been

around the past few months

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #23 on: October 18, 2002, 01:54:34 AM »

awww well. looks like

we'll just have to wait a bit longer for the next issue.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2002, 09:15:11 PM »

Aww, and I was so eager for the story

to continue...  :-\
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #25 on: November 02, 2002, 01:49:47 PM »

does anyone have her

email?

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #26 on: November 02, 2002, 02:14:48 PM »

It says on her profile that her email is

sekhmet42@hotmail.com...
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #27 on: November 02, 2002, 02:56:06 PM »

we should get KM to email

her, as her housemate, he's less likely to scare her away permanently.

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #28 on: November 03, 2002, 12:53:21 AM »

Yeah...  ;D
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #29 on: November 04, 2002, 01:57:04 AM »

sounds

good
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #30 on: December 04, 2002, 02:14:20 PM »

Welcome back, Tia! I hope you find

your inspiration soon, as I'd love to read more of this!
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #31 on: December 05, 2002, 12:06:14 PM »

Nice to see you back, Tia.  For inspiration, I always advise one good sugar overdose at around 2 in the morning.  Just don't give any to Pam.

Say hi to all the inmates for me.  I miss you guys.  Hug Tammy especially, would you?  Gracia muey mucho.  :p ;D
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2002, 02:43:42 AM »

yay!!! a fight

scene!!!!
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2002, 05:55:46 PM »

I warned you. :)




   Dashing down the corridors, Tia soon found the hallway she’d taken the day she and Kerry had gotten ‘lost.’ The secret staircase should take her down to the same level as the common room without having to apologize to any animated bridge-work. She studied the doors in front of her. Which had she taken? Pretty sure in was the first one down, she opened it.  Two broomsticks, a large bag, three mops and a metal bucket came clattering out, causing Tia to jump back against the opposite wall. The mops and one of the brooms set up a game of pick-up sticks while the second broom floated overhead, looking for a way in. The bag burst and scattered rags and dish towels all over the floor, and the bucket, enjoying its freedom, continued rolling down the hall. Tia winced as it banged into the third door down with a final, loud crash.
   Looking around hurriedly, she crept down the hallway with every intention of leaving the entire mess for the house elves to find. As she passed the third door, it swung open, causing her to trip over the bucket and very nearly fall into the student who emerged. “Ack! Watch what you’re doing!” she snapped, regaining her balance and glaring at the boy in the doorway.
   “Shouldn’t you be in your dorm? It is after hours, you know,” he stated.
   “Only just. I was on my way…” Tia started to explain about the cleaning closet, but stopped as she got a better look at the student. A sixth or seventh year with one of those red and gold armbands the Gryffindors had taken to wearing lately. House pride or some such load. She didn’t need to make excuses to a Gryffindor. Always thought they were above the rules, but still real quick to point them out to anyone else. “Wait a minute…shouldn’t you be in your dorm?” She countered instead.
   “That’s none of your business!” His reply was a little too quick, defensive. It sounded like a chance to catch a Gryffindor breaking rules. Tia wasn’t going to miss this.
   “You’re not in Slytherin, which means you’re a lot farther from your common room than I am.” She mused out loud. “Hmmm-hmmm, which means you don’t have the excuse of ‘I was on my way,’ which means…”
   “Which means nothing.”
   “…that’s you’re doing something you don’t want anyone else to know about!” Tia finished triumphantly, trying to peer around the door, which opened out into the hallway and blocked her view of the room beyond. “So…what’s in the room?”
   “Nothing. I told you already.”
   “No…actually, you didn’t. Why don’t you tell me and I’ll avoid telling any teachers that I saw you here at this time.” Tia didn’t know why she suddenly cared so much, she was just in one of those moods.
   The boy looked over his shoulder, into the room. He kept licking his lips, like he was really nervous. Then he stepped back, suddenly. “See? There’s nothing!” He gestured grandly towards the room. Tia didn’t even bother to look. There was obviously no point anymore.
   “Oh well, guess I’ll have to report you for that waste of my time, then.” She started back down the hall.
“You can’t do that, you’ll get in trouble too!”
   “Ah, but I was on my way back when I had an accident with the closet, see? Professor McGonagall can vouch for me,” she hazarded. “If you want to ask her.” To her surprise the boy looked worried.
   “Professor McGonagall…” he stopped, glaring at her. “She wouldn’t care if I was here, anyway.”
   “I think you’re lying, and you’re bad at it. Oh, I’ve got it, you must be in Gryffindor.” Tia faked surprise.
   “Was that supposed to be an insult?”
   “You said it, not me.” Tia picked up the fallen cleaning supplies and shoved them back into the closet along with most of the rags and pinned the whole thing in with the floating broomstick. Turning, she saw the boy still standing there, staring angrily at her. She sighed, this guy was just no fun to bait. “Look, I don’t really care, okay? I’ll go to my room, and you go to yours and we’ll just forget about the whole thing. Deal?”
   “No!”
   Tia shook her head, what was this guy’s problem? “Fine, you can stay here all night then, but I’m leaving.” Turning, she opened the correct door and trotted down the stairs to the lower level.
By the time she had reached her common room she had rehashed the whole incident in her mind three times. She was also thoroughly confused. Obviously he’d been hiding something, but whatever it was had somehow disappeared while he delayed her at the door. Fascinating, but not enough to lose sleep over. What really bothered her was how much interest she had shown to him. Letting herself be so caught up in an argument over nothing with a Gryffindor was even more embarrassing that being seen chasing a bucket down a hall filled with rags. If she’d been smart she would have ignored him in the first place and then looked in the room later. Of course, whatever it was probably would have been gone then, too. If there was anything there at all. He could have just been trying to annoy her. Then again, that wasn’t really the Gryffindor way. Then again, why not? Nothing said a Gryffindor couldn’t be annoying just because he felt like it. And she was making a huge deal out of nothing and really ought to just go to sleep and forget about it. Right.
Slipping through the door, Tia crept into her bedroom and fell asleep.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 08:55:11 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2002, 11:22:04 PM »

Great stuff, Tia.  One

suggestion?  The part where you say:

Quote
“Noctem!” she snapped, and darkness filled the hall. She heard Cynthia stumble, and made a break

for it.


It took me a minute to realize *Tia* made a break for it.  At first I thought she was listening to Cynthia make a break for it.  You

might want to reword the sentence.  Adding "so she" in the place of "and" might work.

I'm really enjoying this story.  How

many more segments are there to post?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #35 on: December 15, 2002, 01:27:43 AM »


She dreamed badly that night, but in the morning all Tia could remember was inconsistent grayness and a tree made out of orange jelly. She rolled over and pushed Ember off the bed, where she’d been curled up against her side. To her surprise, the cat jumped right back up and buried her head against Tia’s arm, purring loudly.
   “Eh? What’s this?” She scratched her cat behind the ears. “Did I disturb you? Sheesh, you glare at me seven ways if I don’t fix your food right, but you’re all sweetness over a nightmare I can’t even remember.” Ember blinked her eyes and continued to purr. “Bah. I don’t understand cats.” Dressing, Tia headed for breakfast, the red-orange feline perched on her shoulder. Halfway there, Ember detached herself and disappeared down a corridor.
   “Hey! Emmie! Come back.” The cat stopped and looked back, twitching her tail, then ran off around a corner. “Well fine. No table scraps for you then.” Tia shook her head and continued on. Entering the somewhat empty Saturday dining hall she looked around, hoping to see Kerry. He would get a kick out of last night’s Gryffindor, she was sure. Failing to find him, however, Tia settled for an empty area by the door where she could see if he came in. She figured their little argument had gone on long enough and it was time to get back to normal. After all, what good was a joke against Gryffindor if you couldn’t share it with anyone?
   Still eyeing the door, she opened and closed one of the serving dishes a couple of times until it produced something she liked. She wondered at the empty hall until she remembered there was a Quidditch game today. Most of the students were probably outside already, trying to save the best seats. Tia loved flying, but she’d never bothered to follow Quidditch. It was a little one-sided for her taste, and she was sick of listening to her dorm-mates coo over their favorite Seekers. After half an hour spent picking at her food and thinking up improbable ways to sabotage the game she was about to leave, when Kerry came in through one of the side doors.
   “Kerry!” she called, waving to him. “You’ve got to hear this!” He turned towards her, and then waited as the messenger Hufflepuff from the previous evening joined him. Turning back he waved at Tia and then followed the other girl to a table across the hall. Tia stared after them for a moment in disbelief. Slamming her plate down suddenly she stalked out of the hall, only to be enveloped by a cloud of red and gold robes. The Gryffindor Quidditch team.
   “Hey, watch it!” One of them snapped as she pushed through. Tia turned to yell at him and stopped. It was the boy from last night, of all the stupid coincidences. He was fully dressed for Quidditch and carrying a beater’s club.
   “This is an exit, you know,” Tia said, recovering her voice. “You should be watching for people coming out of it, yes?”
   “What about people coming in?” muttered one of the other players.
   “What about them?” Tia snapped back.
   The Gryffindor rolled her eyes and continued into the dining hall, followed by the rest of the team, except Tia’s new acquaintance. He just stood there. “About last night…” he started.
   “Forget it! Okay? No one cares, least of all me. Just drop it already!” Tia didn’t feel like going over this again.
   “I was just wondering if you…”
   “Hey! Grant! You planning on eating before the game?” The captain had stuck her head back out in the hall and was beckoning to her teammate. “You know you’ll get sick if you don’t!”
   Grant looked annoyed. He glanced at the captain and back at Tia, who smirked.
   “Better listen to mommy,” she suggested. He glared at her and stalked off. Tia giggled, but it didn’t last. She had more important things to think about, like Kerry and that Hufflepuff girl.
   Of course she didn’t care if Kerry had gone and gotten himself a girlfriend. Why should she? They were just friends after all…they’d only grown up together, shared all their toys, read the same books, laughed at the same jokes, gone to the same schools…no that couldn’t be it. What really bothered her was that stupid Hufflepuff obviously thought herself too good to sit with Tia. It wouldn’t have been Kerry’s idea. He never held grudges like that, he would have sat with her anyway, girlfriend or not. It was all that girl’s fault. Right.



   Tia finally managed to corner Kerry the next day after lunch. His new friend had run off just before, to meet a friend for a study session. It was about time. Not that she’d been stalking them or anything.
   “Why are you following me around?” Kerry asked bluntly, when Tia stopped him in the hallway. “It’s starting to get annoying.”
   Tia grimaced. Okay, so her stealth skills weren’t the best in the world. “Annoying? You hang out with that squeaky-voiced hamster-girl nonstop for almost two full days and I’m annoying? I’d think you’d welcome the respite.”
   Kerry stared at her. “What was that for? If you’re just going to be rude, I’m leaving.”
   “Rude? Who’s been avoiding me for the past week?”
   “I’m not avoiding you! You were avoiding me!”
   “I was not!”
   “Were too! You always turn down another hall whenever I see you!”
   “Oh? And who changed his spot in Herbology just so that huge spider fern is between him and me?”
   “Well who moved her chair all the way across the room in Charms?”
   “You changed your potions partner!”
   “Only because you did first!”  
   Tia decided to ignore that. “What about yesterday at breakfast? You call that ‘not avoiding’? You deliberately sat on the other side of the hall!”
   “Cynthia wanted to sit with her friends!”
   “And that’s more important than sitting with your friend?”
   “Only when my ‘friend’ can’t speak two words without insulting someone!”
   “Insulting someone? And what do you think this Cynthia did when she stopped you from sitting with me?”
   “She didn’t stop me! Why would she stop me?”
   “Because she hates me! She think I’m evil because I’m in Slytherin and that I shouldn’t hang out with you because you’re too good for me and she’s obviously a better friend because she’s in Hufflepuff and you know that people of different Houses shouldn’t be friends, especially with Slytherins and…and…” Tia suddenly realized how loud she was being. Several students had stopped in the hall and were staring at them. Kerry looked embarrassed and lowered his voice.
   “Hey, Tia, calm down. Aren’t you overreacting, just a little?” he said, carefully ignoring the fact that he had been yelling just as loud.
   “You always think I’m overreacting! Just because I say what I mean!”
   “Really? You meant all that?” Kerry smiled slightly.
   “You still think I’m just angry, don’t you! Well let me tell you….”
   “Wait! Don’t.” Kerry looked around at the gathering crowd. “Give me a chance to talk, alright?”
   Tia winced as several of the onlookers giggled, but she refused to move somewhere else. “Fine. Talk.”
   Kerry sighed. “I’m not hanging out with Cynthia just to get back at you for anything. We were friends before, you know. And I’m sure she doesn’t hate you, she just wanted to sit with her friends, that’s all. Look, we’ll sit with you next time, okay?”
   “You sound like you’re throwing a dog a bone. Did it ever occur to you I might not want to sit with her? She came to my dormitory once, in practically the middle of the night, just to throw insults at me and tell me why I’m not worthy to hang around the exalted Hufflepuffs. Does that have anything to do with sitting anywhere? Hmmm?”
   “I’m sure she was just having a bad day…”
   “So she’s allowed to have a bad day and insult people, but I’m not?”
   “She has a point.” A Ravenclaw girl broke in from the audience. Tia glared at her and she subsided.
   “No, no, that’s not it.” Kerry edged a little further down the hallway, away from the bystanders, who were starting to take sides. “I’m sure if you and Cynthia just sit down and have a talk, we can work this out.”
   Tia didn’t follow him. Most of the whispering people seemed to be on her side and she was kind of enjoying it, though she kept glaring at them on principle. “You always think everything can be settled by talking. Must be why you’re in Hufflepuff.”
   “Hey! First you say people are too quick to think one way about you just because you’re in a certain House, and then you go making calls on why I am where I am!”
   “So I’m a hypocrite. Must be why I’m in Slytherin.”
   Kerry looked at her strangely. Then, abruptly, he laughed. “Okay, okay, you win. How about we, um, go somewhere else and we can talk. Without Cynthia.”
   Tia couldn’t help laughing a little herself. “Alright, let’s…”
   “Kerry!” A high-pitched voice interrupted her. Tia turned to see Cynthia running down the hall towards them. “We decided to cancel the study session today, so…” she paused, noticing the crowd, and Tia. “What’s going on?”
   “Nothing,” Kerry said hurriedly. “We were just…discussing the House cup.”
   “Oh.” Cynthia shrugged. “It think Hufflepuff might actually have a chance to win this year, since other Houses have lost so many points.” Tia listened to the thinly veiled reference, and wondered if the sorting hat might have made a crucial mistake in putting the girl in Hufflepuff. She was about to retaliate when Kerry caught Cynthia by the arm and steered her away down the hall.
   “If your session is canceled, how about we practice that new spell Professor McGonagall was teaching us, hmmm? I think the far south study hall is usually empty at this time of day.” He turned at waved at Tia. “We’ll talk later, okay?” The pair disappeared down the hall.
   “Just when things were going so well, too.” A Slytherin first-year said, next to Tia. She ignored him.
   “I’m going to kill her.” she said to the hall in general. Several of the onlookers nodded in agreement.

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« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 08:53:30 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #36 on: December 16, 2002, 06:54:36 AM »

*claps happily* Yay! Cool fight scene! I

love how impulsive she is, and I bet that's a lot of her problem. Now if only we could find out about this Gryffindor and his evil intentions


((Sorry, Ping, somehow about six pages of this got deleted in the move...mind if I borrow this space to fill it in?  --Tia))


   “I saw that.”
   Tia turned, slowly this time. She had a feeling if she moved any faster she would start seeing red. Cynthia stood in a doorway leading into the hall, smirking at her. “What did you say?” Tia whispered.
   “I said, I saw that. Fighting with another student, outside of the specified practice areas. Tsk tsk, don’t you know that’s against the rules?” The girl started to walk towards Tia.
   “Don’t even start…”
   “I think I’ll have to tell the teachers. Any more points lost from Slytherin and you’ll never win the cup. I think it’s about time the other Houses had a shot, don’t you?”
   Tia realized she was still gripping her wand. There was only so much crap she could put up with in one day. “Fine. Tell the teachers, but first, make sure you have a fight worth telling them about!” She raised her wand, leveling it at the other girl.
   “Expelliarmus!” Cynthia cast, but Tia was expecting that. Everyone started with that.
   “Reflecto!” she countered, and a mirror shield spread in front of her. Cynthia’s curse bounced off and shot towards the ceiling, shattering some stonework by the sound of it. Cynthia dodged some falling pebbles and lifted her arm for another spell. “Ferrus Brachium!” Tia called, and her opponent’s arm dropped, suddenly heavy as stone.
   Cynthia hissed and grabbed her wand in her off-hand. “Carpe Crinam!” she yelled. Tia had never heard that particular curse before, but suddenly every hair on her head tried to pull in a different direction. Now that was playing dirty. Fine.
   “Centrifugio!” She spun her wand, delving into the realm of more powerful curses. Cynthia suddenly began to turn in circles, faster and faster. Tia watched for a moment, grinning.
   Unfortunately the Hufflepuff recovered faster than she’d expected. “Excelsior!” she shot off, before Tia could bring her wand around again. Caught off guard, she started rising towards the ceiling. Fast.
   “Levitate.” She gasped, and was suddenly floating under her own power. Tia let out her breath. Some of those carvings were rather pointy, and far too close for comfort. “What do you think you’re playing at!” she shouted down at Cynthia. “You nearly killed me!” She flew down towards the floor, wand raised again.
   “Gravitus.” Cynthia said, as Tia flew past, and suddenly her powers failed, dropping her to the floor. Her momentum kept up, and she slid to the end of the hallway before recovering.
   “Ow…and I thought it was my House that never played fair.” She muttered under her breath, then caught sight of Cynthia running towards her.
   “Are you…?” The Hufflepuff started. Tia leapt to her feet, there was no way she was going to admit defeat that easily.
   “Noctem!” she snapped, and darkness filled the hall. She heard Cynthia stumble, so she made a break for it. She needed some time to rethink her curses. Keeping one hand along the wall to guide her, she sped down the hallway. Suddenly, voices from the side brought her up short.
   “…stolen, right from my office.”
   “So someone’s collecting revival-type magic.”
   “Could it be? You-Know-Who.”
   “Certainly not, not so soon…”
   “It is doubtful that the phoenix candle will…
   Tia reached out and found what felt like a door. She recognized the voices inside as the Professors. There must be a meeting, but what about? Duel temporarily forgotten, she leaned closer.
   “It’s only what you get, Headmaster,” Snape’s voice rang out. “For using such a powerful object in such a frivolous manner…” Dumbledore replied in a low tone. Tia strained to hear.
   “Fiat Lux!” Suddenly the hall was filled with light. Blinded, Tia stumbled backwards, straight into the door she’d been so close to. To her surprise, it swung open, dumping her unceremoniously in a meeting room filling with teachers. Struggling to sit up, she caught a glimpse of Cynthia backing away from the door.
   “Oh no, you don’t get out of this that easy! Immobilus!” She waved her wand one last time before someone snatched it from her hand. Cynthia was caught stock-still in the doorway.
   “What is going on here!” Professor McGonagall’s voice rang out. Tia looked around slowly. The green-robed Professor was standing over her, tapping Tia’s wand against her palm. Snape was standing at the head of the table, looking annoyed at being interrupted. The other teachers ranged in reaction from complete shock to mild amusement.
   “Um…” Tia started. “We were just…I mean…”
   “You mean? What exactly do you mean, Miss Tiamat Raven?” McGonagall refused to let up. Just at that moment, however, the curse on Cynthia wore off.
   “We were…practicing, Professor.” She tried to explain. “It got a little out of hand.” Tia had to give Cynthia bonus points for knowing when to lie.
   “It seems so.” The Professor’s eyes scanned their robes, which had gotten rather torn and dirty in the course of the contest. “Professor Snape, I believe this is your jurisdiction?” Tia winced as Snape turned towards her.
   “Practicing. Hmmm. All I know is I saw you,” he pointed a finger at Tia. “Activate a curse on a fellow student in the middle of a public hallway with no supervisors present. Do you deny it?”
   “It wasn’t just me…”
   Snape’s eyes narrowed. Tia gave up.
   “No, Professor.”
   “Good. Since it is so late and we are in the middle of a very important meeting, I will see you in my office tomorrow morning.” He turned back to the table.
   “Er…my wand…” she hesitated. McGonagall turned, fixing her with a long stare. Tia stared back. Finally the Professor nodded and handed over the wand.
   “Anymore trouble and I will confiscate it for some time. Magic is not to be used vindictively on fellow students! Understand?”
   Tia gripped her wand. “Yes, Professor.”
   “Good.” She turned her back. Tia crept quickly out of the room, followed close by Cynthia, who’d just gotten away from her own House’s supervisor. She took off down the hall, trying to leave the Hufflepuff girl behind.
   “I can’t believe you got us both in trouble like that!” Cynthia whined from behind her. “I’ll get points taken off of Hufflepuff! When we’re so far ahead!”
   “You’re one to talk about points!” Tia snapped. “There’s no way Slytherin will ever make up the points I’ve lost this year! Snape is going to kill me!”
   “Who’s fault is that?”
   “Yours!”
   “Mine? How is it mine? I’m not the one who blew up the potions lab! I didn’t break two greenhouse windows and a support pillar on the Quidditch field! I didn’t…”
   “Shut up! Just shut up!” Tia didn’t want to hear about her recent accidents. She didn’t want to listen to Cynthia try to absolve herself of all responsibility. She especially didn’t want to go see Snape the next morning and have him ask all the pointed, barbed question she knew he’d ask. What she wanted to do was steal a broomstick and fly into the dark forest and never come out. Well, maybe not the dark forest.
   Tia looked up from her headlong rush. Somewhere, she’d lost Cynthia, and was now standing outside her common room. Entering and finding no one, she took a few moments to throw pillows against a wall until all the pictures hanging there took refuge with their neighbors outside the room. Then she stormed into the bedroom and sat on the bed staring at nothing for a while. Finally calming down, she looked around, feeling like something was missing.
   Ember. Tia realized she hadn’t seen the cat for some time. Since the previous morning, in fact. Almost two whole days. She frowned and looked around the room again, wondering where the animal had gone. Of course, she didn’t care what cats did with their time, but…she would have appreciated her presence right then.
   “The whole world’s out to get me.” She whispered to no one. It wasn’t true, and she knew it, but she didn’t care. “Kerry’s got a girlfriend who hates me and now he won’t even talk to me. I got in a fight with a Hufflepuff of all the embarrassing situations, and now Snape’s going to kill me. And when everyone finds out I’ve lost more points for the House…” Tia flopped back on her bed. “They’re going to kill me. Again.” She stared at the ceiling. “And some Gryffindor’s father knew my father.” Tia sat up again quickly. She almost forgotten about that. It had sounded suspiciously like a threat. Then again, who cared? If she left it alone it would probably go away.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 08:50:10 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #37 on: December 16, 2002, 08:00:44 PM »

Well, you get to find out :)
I'm finished! (Writing that is) I've split it into five more sections, which, unless I get some really horrible feedback from my friends out here, will go up within the next week.



   Threat or not, Tia didn’t have time to think much about it the next morning. Snape was in a worse mood than she’d ever seen him, and spent nearly an hour delivering a tirade on the evils of students fighting, how many people had seen them, damages to school property, and student injuries due to a sudden loss of visibility in an entire wing of the school. Tia kept silent except for an occasional ‘yes, Professor’ when appropriate, though she was sorely tempted to point out that Snape had actively encouraged more student battle than he discouraged. She knew the real reason he was yelling at her was that she’d single handedly destroyed Slytherin’s chances to win the Cup this year.
Even teachers could be petty at times.
   When Snape finally wound down, he’d sent her to help the house elves repair the stonework damaged in her fight. Tia thought this would be an easy way out, since the house elves would probably do most of the work, but when she got there she found that all the elves had been instructed most sternly to make sure she did her share. Which consisted of all of that hallway and touch ups on most of the adjoining ones as well. They wouldn’t even let her use magic, though she bet they went around and used a repair spell on the whole thing when she was finished. She was a witch, not a stone mason, after all.
   By the time she’d finished she felt drained and sore, not to mention covered in plaster dust which was just embarrassing, and wanted nothing more than to go back to her dorm and sleep, but her classes beckoned. She wasn’t about to lose more points for skipping out. The only high point was the fact that she didn’t have Potions that day. She’d certainly seen enough of Snape for the next month. After her last class finally wrapped up, Tia decided to go to the library. She was less likely to run into her House-mates there. Then she could wait to go back to the dorm until everyone was sleeping, and maybe avoid the recriminations for another day.
      She found herself missing Kerry. He would have known what to say…but he was probably busy comforting Cynthia.
   Tia dropped her books on the library table with a loud thud. Everyone turned to look at her. She ignored them, pretending to be interested in a nearby bookshelf. Now
that she was in the library, she had no idea what to do. She didn’t feel like studying. She grabbed a random book off the shelf and opened it.
   “…the magic of the caster, when combined with the innate channeling ability of the substance in the wand, creates a far more powerful spell than if the caster were to…”
   Tia glanced at the cover of the book. The Magic Wand and its History. She rolled her eyes. This was kid stuff. She flipped to another page.
   “…unicorns, dragons and phoenix are known to have such great natural magic about them that they were immediately targeted as sources for the wands’ power. While unicorn hairs and phoenix feathers are easily
obtainable and grow back swiftly, the heartstrings of dragons soon became a problem to obtain, and the various dragon breeds were hunted to near
extinction…”
   Tia glanced at her wand, sitting on the table next to her. She could still hear Ollivander’s voice chanting, “Ash and dragon heartstring, twelve and three quarter inches…” She wondered what kind of dragon had died to give her that wand. Turning it over in her fingers she
found herself staring at the open book in front of her. A triple picture of a dragon, a unicorn, and a phoenix adorned the top of the page. She traced the
outline of each creature with her wand, still thinking about dragons, when another thought occurred to her. Her hand stopped over the picture of the phoenix. What had the teachers been talking about the night before? Revival magic…they were discussing theft of…a candle? Phoenix candle. That was it.
   Curiosity sparked, Tia returned the wand book to the shelf and searched around for a book on magical objects. After four books and several misleading references, she finally found what she was looking for in a book of spells called Experiments in Communication by which, she found out, they meant communication with the dead. She wondered why the book wasn’t in the restricted section, but after browsing it for a
minute she figured it out. No self respecting student would ever read a book written in such a fashion. It was technical language, but the kind of technical
written by people who want to sound smart so they string lots of big words together in a sentence that doesn’t really make sense once you finish reading
it. Tia almost put the book back, but she forced herself to wait until she found the passage that interested her.
   The phoenix candle, it turned out, was a very old and not much used form of resurrection magic. The candles were made by some long drawn out process which
involved catching the life force of a burning phoenix and imprisoning it in tallow. Tia didn’t think much of that. Like the dragons for wands it seemed unfair to kill phoenixes to make candles. Supposedly, if you burnt the candle while chanting some odd spell and brewing a terribly complicated looking potion, you could possibly call back a spirit of the dead to the living. The complexity of the timing and the rarity of the ingredients soon made the candle method obsolete. Tia wondered why anyone would want to steal something that sounded like more trouble than it was worth to cast.
   Curiosity sated, and bored out of  her mind by the book’s writing, she shoved it back on the shelf and left the library. She had just reached the common room and was about to head for her bed when she heard a familiar yowling coming from the door.
   “Ember!” She flung the door open, admitting the cat, who jumped up on the table without pause. “Well fine, glad to see you too. Where have you been?” The cat purred, and dropped something on the table. Tia picked it up. It was a plant. “I didn’t know you were vegetarian. Couldn’t catch any mice?” Ember looked insulted. An insulted cat is an amusing sight. Tia looked more closely at the plant. “Nightshade? But that only
grows in places of concentrated evil…where have you been?”
   In reply, Ember hopped off the table and headed for the door again. “Now wait a minute, where do you think you’re going?” She made to shut the door, but the cat slipped through. Flinging it open again, she stormed
out after her. “Come back here! If you think I’m going to follow you to some mouse-hole you’ve found…” Muttering to herself about the wisdom of talking to
cats, she tromped after Ember, who always stayed just out of reach. “I swear, I’m tempted just to leave you out here.”
   Suddenly, she recognized where they were. Ember had stopped in front of a familiar door and was staring at it, twitching her tail. It was the door she’d ended up in front of, the night of her accident with the broom closet. “Why?” she asked, moving to stand next to the cat. Then she heard voices from the room.
   “…is set. All we need is the book.”
   “I looked all over the library and couldn’t find it…” Grant. Tia could only assume the other voice was his father. She swallowed. It looked like she wasn’t going to be able to leave it alone after all. She listened closer.
   “…again. We can not afford to make a mistake. Voldemort must be revived, or our way of life is lost forever.”
   “But we don’t even know if it will work. Don’t you think you should consult the others first?”
   “When Lord Voldemort returns, I want him to know that it was I who helped him, not some other dark wizard, eager to supplant me in the ranks.”
   “But…”
   “Perhaps you are afraid? You think there is safety in
numbers?”
   “No!”
   “Then go get that book. We must finish this tonight.”
   “Yes, father.”
   “And make sure you are not disturbed this time. That girl seemed a bit too interested for her own good. Just like her mother.” Tia jumped, they were talking about her. She backed away from the door, hearing footsteps approach. She turned and ran as the doorknob rattled.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:42:44 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #38 on: December 16, 2002, 08:01:21 PM »

Guess what? It was too long again! Oh well, I think they all are, now.



   Tearing down the hall, Tia found it hard to think. Someone was trying to bring Voldemort back. Come to think of it, that wasn’t such a strange idea, but someone was trying to bring him back now. This was the last thing she needed. What was she thinking, it was the last thing the world needed.
   Of course, it probably wouldn’t work. Tia remembered the book. It had been very uncertain of the actual results of the candle ‘experiment’. Still, there was always a chance. She should tell someone. Fast. But who? Professor McGonagall? She’d never listen. Snape? No way. There was only one thing for it, go straight to the top.
   Skidding to a halt outside Dumbledore’s office, she banged on the statue of a griffin until her fists hurt, then started kicking it. “Let me in! I have to talk to you! Headmaster! Let me in!”
   Slowly, the statue slid open. Tia fidgeted in impatience as the staircase slowly wound its way to the top. “Headmaster!” she called, jumping out into the room. Dumbledore looked up from his desk.
   “Ah, Miss Raven. An unorthodox way to obtain entry to my office, but at least you weren’t sent by Snape this time.” He smiled, amused by his own joke. Tia shook her head.
   “No…it’s more important. I just found something, I mean I heard something, I mean…” Tia stopped, flustered. She forced herself to breath normally. “Sorry. It’s about the phoenix candle, the one you were discussing yesterday when I…um…well anyway, I know its been stolen and I know who stole it!” She waited for Dumbledore to ask, but he just sat behind his desk,
still looking amused. Tia wondered if she was missing something here.
   “I heard them talking…they’re trying to bring back
Voldemort with the candle, I saw the book, too…” Tia hesitated again, thinking that maybe she should have gone to the library first and picked up the book before Grant could. At this rate… “You need to stop him! He’s going to get the book…”
   “Who?” Dumbledore asked. He no longer looked amused, only thoughtful.
   “Grant…” What was it, what was it… “…Seldon. And his father. He’s a dark wizard,” she added unnecessarily.
   “I don’t recall a Grant Seldon in Slytherin…”
   “He’s in Gryffindor!” Tia knew this would come up. She hadn’t wanted to mention it.
   “Ah, of course. A Gryffindor.” Dumbledore looked amused again. “And his father, a dark wizard, inside Hogwarts, planning to revive Voldemort.” The headmaster peered over his glasses at Tia. “Am I
right?”
   “No…they’re not in Hogwarts…I think they’re in the forest.” Tia could feel her audience slipping. “They…you don’t believe me, do you?”
   “I must admit, it sounds a bit far-fetched, doesn’t it?”
   Tia shifted her balance back and forth. She was imagining Grant taking the book and escaping while she stalled here with Dumbledore. “You have to listen…” she said, but without much conviction. She should have known better than to expect any teacher to take her word for anything. Especially against a Gryffindor.
   “I suggest you forget all about it,” Dumbledore continued. “I assure you we are in no danger of Voldemort being revived by…” Tia didn’t stay to listen. This was a waste of time she didn’t have. Racing back down the stairs, she kicked the closing statue on the way out.
   “I should have known,” she said to herself as she tore through the halls again. “Anyone whose office sports a griffin for a door would never listen to a Slytherin accuse a Gryffindor.” Heading for the library by the fastest route she came to an unplanned halt in front of the Hufflepuff dormitory. Kerry would know what to do, and his credibility record wasn’t shot. If there were two of them, Dumbledore would have to listen.
Tia didn’t really enjoy the idea of racing after Grant on her own. Fumbling in her pockets, she pulled out a folded paper and scanned it.
   “Arctic Atlas,” she announced to the statue guarding the Hufflepuff entrance, and it slid to the side. Thank goodness for Derrell and his password hunting skills.
   Tia ran inside, not thinking for the moment of the reaction a student in Slytherin uniform might get barging into another House’s common room. “I need to talk to Kerry," she announced to the startled Hufflepuffs inside. “Now!”
   “Whoa, Tia, what are you doing here? This is…” Kerry stood up from a chair by the fire.
   “Your common room, I know. But it’s important.” She grabbed his arm and dragged him outside the room. “There’s a dark wizard on the loose,” she said, once safely away from the rest of the Hufflepuffs. “I talked to Dumbledore, but he won’t believe me and I want you to help me. He’ll listen to you, I’m
sure.”
   “Um…Tia…”
   “Don’t start! You have to believe me! I don’t have time to explain…”
   “You’ve got to be kidding me. Dark wizard? In Hogwarts? It’s impossible!”
   “But…” Tia stopped. This had been a waste of time after all. Grant would certainly have the book by now, and… “Fine! I told you I don’t have time for this! If you can’t trust me…” she stopped. “Forget it, I’ll stop him myself.” She turned and ran for the library, ignoring a faint protest from Kerry.
   “Tia…wait…” Suddenly, she was jerked backwards as Kerry caught hold of her robe. “Wait! I believe you! Just…give me an explanation or something.”
   “I don’t have time! It could be too late already…”
   “But…we shouldn’t get involved in…” Kerry stopped. He looked at Tia for a long moment, chewing his lip. “Okay, I’ll come with you.”
   She nodded. “Forget Dumbledore, we’d better head for the library first.”
   “But…you said…”
   “Come on!”
   The two students ran for the library, Tia explaining the situation as best she could as they went. Kerry nodded without saying anything. He seemed strangely quiet. Tia just hoped he didn’t have a panic attack or something.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:46:10 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #39 on: December 17, 2002, 01:06:20 AM »

o_O whoa... thats uber-cool. I

was surprised when Dumbledore didn't beleive Tia.
Hey, I just realized something, Dumbledore has a 'griffin' on his 'door' so couldn't it be called a

'griffin-door?'  :o ;D

uhh... yeah. Cool story!
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #40 on: December 17, 2002, 01:16:23 AM »

I noticed that too (griffin-door),

but only after I'd written the sentence. I thought it was cool so I left it alone.

Hey, it's Dumbledore. He's always got something up his sleeve.

;)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #41 on: December 17, 2002, 06:53:51 AM »

*looks pained* I never noticed that

before! *looks embarrassed*

BTW, I speculate that Dumbledore knows something about the candle that we don't. He's kooky that way.

:)

My one question is why does she think they're in the Forbidden Forest if she heard them behind a door? That wasn't quite clear.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #42 on: December 17, 2002, 03:08:19 PM »

*raises hand*  Oooh

ooh!  I know!  Ember got a PLANT from inside the room, and Tia figured the door was just a sort of portal to the forest!  Am I right?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #43 on: December 17, 2002, 08:30:48 PM »

Yeah...that's it. At least, that was supposed to be it, but in my massive editing spree, I think I cut something out that explained it better. How embarrassing.  :-[

Let's just assume it was explained and continue on, ne?



   It was one thing to say they’d stop Grant, but quite another to do so. Tia and Kerry stood in front of the doors to the library, unable to make themselves move further. He was obviously too confused to take the lead, and she was busy struggling with her sense of self-preservation.
   Tia had been lying to Grant about not remembering things from her childhood. She could spend hours reliving the fear, running from place to place, clinging to her mother, hiding with Kerry. She remembered threats and curses and fights, but mostly she remembered her father. Before and after he joined with Voldemort. She could sit and think about it forever, but she didn’t.
   It would be a waste of time. Everyone had stories, and if you told yours, well, it was guaranteed there was someone else out there who could top it. Someone who’d seen more death, felt more pain, lost more loved ones. There was always another story waiting. What was the point? Everyone knew what it had been like.
   It was over. It was over six years ago. They were just students now, in a world without Voldemort. Waiting to see what it should be like. And then people like Grant tried to bring it all back.
   “How dare he. How dare he!” Tia whispered. Still, what could she do about it? If Grant Seldon, whoever he was, decided to make some plot with his dark wizard
father…that was the Ministry’s problem. Not hers. She shouldn’t get involved. Turning to Kerry, she was about to suggest they just forget about it and leave, but he cut her off.
   “You’re right,” he said. “We can’t let him do this. We can’t even let him try.”
   Tia was surprised at the vehemence in his voice. She’d never seen him look so determined, either. Still, why shouldn’t he be angry? He remembered too. She felt a little embarrassed for wanting to leave. Turning to Kerry, she nodded, but couldn’t help wondering what line of events had forced this on her. Oh yeah, a stupid Gryffindor so concerned that he might be found out that he gave himself away in the process. She
could hear Grant in the library, still searching for the book. “Idiot.” Tia whispered. “I may have to stop him just to get back at him for doing this to me.”
   Before the irony of that statement could penetrate, however, the doors to the library slammed open, and Grant ran out, clutching the book. He brushed past Tia and Kerry before they realized what was happening, and ran on down the hall. Glancing at each other, they
pushed all second thoughts away and tore after him.
   The Gryffindor was fast, however, and when he realized someone was chasing him he sped up even more. They kept to his heels, however, until they rounded a corner into the hallway of the broom closet. There he turned to face them. “You again! I thought I warned you to leave us alone!”
   Tia shrugged, too out of breath to reply. She reached for her wand, but Grant dodged inside the room. Dashing to the door, she saw him grab a broomstick  from inside the door and disappear down a hidden tunnel that had appeared from behind a bookshelf.
   She knew she’d never catch him flying. It was over so easily…unless. She ran back down the hall to the closet. Flinging it open, she found the same floating broom that had been there several days previous. A broom left in a closet couldn’t be very good, but, seeing no other options, she jumped on. Kerry stared at her.
   “You’re not going to….” he started, staring at the small, dark space.
   “Come on! He’s getting away!” Tia snapped. Kerry shuddered, but he pulled himself onto the broom behind her. “Hold on.” Tia warned, and shot into the room and down the passage.
   Tia hated Quidditch, but no one said you had to like Quidditch to know how to fly. Her broomstick dodged along a passage barely big enough for such sport. She assumed it was big enough all the way out or Grant would never have flown down in the first place. She just hoped he didn’t hop off the broomstick someplace and leave her to crash into a suddenly narrowed tunnel.
   No such accident occurred, however, and before she knew it she flew out of the passage and found herself dodging tree branches. She was in the dark forest. Rising above the trees, she looked around quickly. Behind her, she felt Kerry loosen his grip long enough to do the same.
   “Down there!” he said suddenly, pointing. Tia followed his hand and saw a disturbance in the trees below that had to be Grant. She dove toward it, nearly losing Kerry in the process. Straightening her broom just behind Grant’s she pulled out her wand and sent a stream of magical rocks pelting towards him, but he dodged them all easily, and even sent one racing back towards them with a flick of his wand. “Stupid Quidditch player,” Tia muttered.
   Suddenly Kerry’s wand was leveled alongside hers. She was surprised, she hadn’t expected him to do much more than try to stay on the broom. “Arboreus obsticalum!” he shouted, and the trees just in front of Grant leaned together, branches interlacing.
   Quidditch player or not, Grant didn’t quite pull up in time. The front of his broom hit a jumble of branches and stuck, while the rider’s momentum sent him flying forward into the tree with a crash. He fell through the leaves and hit the ground hard. Picking himself up, he found himself face to face with two hostile wands and one broomstick.
   “Give it up, Seldon.” Tia said. “You’re outnumbered.”
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:49:05 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #44 on: December 17, 2002, 08:31:22 PM »

   “You think so?” Grant stood up the rest of the way. “I think you missed a couple. Multius sum.” He whipped his wand around in a circle, and suddenly shadowy figure rose from the ground. Solidifying, they became exact copies of Grant, and raced towards them.
   “Kerry! Keep track of him!” Tia yelled.
   “What…? Wait, I lost him!” Kerry turned, frantically, trying to tell the difference between the actual and the clones. “I can’t…look out!” He crashed into Tia, flinging them both to the ground as about a thousand fireballs shot over their heads.
   “Hang on!” Tia said, rolling away from a second shower of rocks. “They’re just illusions! Illusions can’t cast real magic! It shouldn’t hurt us!”
   “You want to stand still and find out which one is real?” Kerry shouted back.
   “Point…” Tia leapt to her feet and swung her wand in a wide arc. “Finite illusio!” Several of the pseudo-Grants disappeared, but even more appeared in their place. How much power did this guy have? “There’s too many! We’d have to get them all at once!”
   Kerry nodded. “I have it! Stay close to me or…” He raised his hand and suddenly a loud explosion drowned out the rest of his words. A ball of white light sprouted from the tip of his wand and expanded outward, gaining speed and brightness until it crashed into the surrounding illusions. There was a second explosion and all the illusions disappeared without a trace. The light faded, leaving only Grant lying unconscious on the forest floor. Tia blinked.
   “Thank goodness that’s over,” Kerry said, lowering his arm.
   “Er…that was….” Tia cleared her throat. “I mean, nice trick, where’d you learn it?”
   “Honestly, Tia, don’t you ever pay attention in Defense Against the Dark Arts?” Kerry shook his head and wandered over to check on Grant.
   “Ah well, that is….why should I? It’s depressing. All that talk about pain and death and what if Voldemort came back…”
   “You shouldn’t say that name here, girl.” A voice came from the trees. “You never know what you might call up.” Tia turned. A cloaked figure was emerging from the trees. “Then again, it’s too late now, isn’t it?” He pushed back his hood, revealing an almost familiar face.
   “You must be Grant’s father.” Tia said.
   “Very observant.” Seldon nodded. “You must be Raven’s daughter,” His gaze fell on Kerry, who was clutching the book he’d retrieved from Grant’s robes. “And company.” He sounded amused.
   “Kerry, get out of here.” Tia said. She wished there was some way to say it without being obvious, but she had a feeling Seldon wasn’t going to stand around and talk for long.
   She was right. Kerry had just reached the broomstick and started to rise when Seldon raised his wand and sent a bolt of lightning straight at him, knocking him from the broom and back to the ground. Electricity crackled around him once, and he lay still. Tia took two steps towards him and stopped as Seldon turned back to her, wand still raised.
   “His family always was one for running, weren’t they.” Seldon mused, still smiling. “Always leaving others to do the real fighting. What do you say? Would you like to try? Your mother would approve, I’m sure.”
   Tia’s grip tightened around her wand, trying to stop her hands from shaking. She couldn’t run, she knew. She’d never make it. They were only students, there was no way they could stand up to a fully-fledged dark wizard like this….and Kerry was already… “My mother would send you to Azkaban in pieces,” she snapped.
   “A shame she isn’t here, then. I suppose she’s looking after your father? I hear he might be able to eat solid food within a month…”
   “What do you know about it! You….” Tia checked her words and channeled the energy through her wand
instead. “Incensor!” she yelled, and a stream of fire burst from the tip and shot towards Seldon. With a shout he sent a wave of water to douse it, but the beam cut through the spell with a hiss of steam and enveloped him in smoke and flames. A high pitched scream followed Tia as she turned and ran to help Kerry, but it switched abruptly to a hoarse chanting. She didn’t recognize the curse, but suddenly a wave of pain threw her off her feet. Rolling, she found herself against a tree. Gripping the bark, she had just pulled herself upright when the second wave flung her back again. She slid to the ground, unable to do anything but scream as the third curse came shooting towards her. The world went red around her, then grey, then gradually, thankfully, faded to black.
   The problem with black, however, is that eventually you have to wake up again.

« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:51:21 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #45 on: December 18, 2002, 06:49:43 PM »

o_O  You can't leave it like that!!

 :o Well, technically, you can, since it's your story, but why?!? *sits on edge of seat, staring blankly at computer screen*

I think your signature

applies very well at this point...
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #46 on: December 18, 2002, 07:12:37 PM »

So I'm evil...*shrug* Sorry, no

section today, I'm flying home tomorrow and need to pack...so that makes no section for two days, maybe three. *giggle* Don't kill me, please

:)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #47 on: December 19, 2002, 08:28:50 AM »

Oh, we won't kill you 'til you've

finished posting. But after that, look out! Especially since we know you've got it written and are just dragging out our torture! :P
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #48 on: December 20, 2002, 01:38:30 AM »

Oh dear...I think I'm being

threatened. Tsk.

I'll post more tomorrow :)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #49 on: December 24, 2002, 10:12:55 AM »

Sorry about this, guys. Um...as

some of you might know, I'm back in NY for Christmas, and for some reason my parents computer won't read my disk. You know, the one I put the

story on, and a lot of other stuff.

The disk is sitll good, but this computer doesn't like it. (I hate XP) Anyway, I'll post more as soon as I can find

a computer to transfer the files on. Probably after Christmas day.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #50 on: December 24, 2002, 02:41:08 PM »

*gasp*
*Drowns in

prolonged suspense*

;) Sorry your computer isn't being very nice. I would fix it, but that's one of those Muggle things, and I don't know much

about them.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #51 on: December 24, 2002, 10:22:15 PM »

Aww... I was hoping that

the story would brighten up my christmas morning...
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #52 on: December 25, 2002, 03:05:48 AM »

Okay, okay. Merry Christmas. ;)

But don't blame me if it's not what you were expecting. Er...actually you can blame me. This whole segment was an accident. *giggle* Oh well.


   The storm was getting worse. At first there had only been wind, blowing around the small house in the hills,
slamming a shed door open and shut. That had been bad enough, but now it was raining so hard the occupants could barely see out the window. They
looked anyway, because they knew something was happening. The lights flickered on and off, which was strange, because they were magically
generated. Muggle lighting would have given out long before. This storm wasn’t natural, and everyone knew it.
   Two children, both ten years old, sat in front of the fireplace, playing at the board game called fox and geese. Everyone knew that the fox always won, so the little boy was extremely confused by that fact that his opponent had not yet lost a game. Lightning flashed outside, followed by the crash of thunder. The boy jumped, glancing at the window. His opponent used the distraction to move an extra white ‘goose’ to an adjoining square. “Your turn.”
   The boy looked back at the board and moved his red piece. “I think you’re cheating.”
   “I am not!” The girl had figured out that the real point of the game was to win by cheating, and therefore it wasn’t technically cheating, was it? She moved another piece.
   “I win again!” she announced happily.
   “Hush, Tia. Not so loud.” said one of the two adults, without turning from the window.
   “Sorry.” Tia turned her back on her friend, who was cleaning up the game, and wandered over to the window. “Wow, it’s raining hard.” She leaned forward, her nose a hairsbreadth from the pane, eyes trying to penetrate the darkness outside. “Mother says that bad storms mean dark wizards are trying to hide something.”
   The adults exchanged glances. “Yes, sometimes,” The woman said. “But they can come naturally too.” She didn’t sound too sure of that, however.
   The child shrugged. “This one’s really bad. I bet it’s
Voldemort himself trying to hide something.”
   “Don’t say that now, Tia…who knows what you might call up at a time like this.” The woman shuddered. Tia smiled at the window. She liked saying the name, it sounded cool and got some great reactions.
   “Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort…” She chanted, but under her breath, so no one could hear.
   Suddenly the door slammed open. The adults spun from the window, wands at the ready. A cloaked figure stood in the doorway, shedding rainwater. “Deborah, Charles…” A woman’s voice. The newcomer dropped her hood, wiping a hand across her eyes to adjust to the
light inside.
   “Mommy!” Tia ran towards the woman, who was leaning against the door jamb, catching her breath. She flung her arms around her, ignoring the water still dripping off her cloak. The woman hugged her daughter for a moment, then pushed her gently aside. Tia backed
away, slightly embarrassed. She hadn’t said ‘mommy’ in years.
   “We need to get out of here…” her mother said, advancing into the room.
   “What’s going on?”
   She  stopped in the center of the room, looking tired. Worn out from more than just her hectic run for the house. “Voldemort is dead.”
   Silence covered the room. Only the clock on the wall was heard, it’s irregular tick suddenly loud as fireworks. “How?” Deborah finally whispered.
   “The Potters…that’s what everyone is saying…something about the Potters, but there’s no doubt about it, he’s gone.” She looked at the storm, still raging outside the window.
   “But that’s wonderful! I don’t understand…”
   “Voldemort is dead! All the dark wizards are going berserk. The Deatheaters are on a rampage, determined to get in what destruction they can before the hierarchy falls apart. Without their leader, they’re living on borrowed time and they know it. We have to get out of here…before Seth finds us. He’ll check our house first, but then…” She was cut off by another
round of lightning and thunder outside. She spun to the window. “They’re coming. Take Kerry and get out of here. Make for the forest, then apparate somewhere safe.”
   “Mara! You can’t be planning on keeping Tia with you! Let us take her…”
   “No. He won’t hurt us so long as I have her with me. By myself I don’t have a chance.”
   “You’d put her in danger to protect yourself? That’s…”
   Mara’s eyes flashed. “Be careful what you say! She is in no danger from Seth. She’s his daughter too, after all. Even his fealty to Voldemort can’t change that.” She pulled Tia close to her. “Get out of here. You have your own child to protect, after all.”
   Kerry’s parents turned to look at their son, still standing by the fireplace, looking confused and frightened. They nodded, slowly. “We’ll go. Kerry, get your cloak. Hurry!” The boy ran for the closet. Deborah turned to her friend. “Be careful, Mara. We don’t know how far gone he is. He’s not the same person he once was.”
   “I know that. Better than you, I know that. Come, Tia.” She caught Tia’s hand as the girl finished putting on her own cloak. “We need to talk to your father.”
   “I don’t want to talk to him.” Tia started as they left
the building in a group. The Madden family headed for the woods at high speed. “Wait! I don’t want to…wait! Kerry! Wait!” She tried to pull away.
   Mara stopped and gripped her daughter’s shoulders. “Tia, listen to me. There is something very important I have to do. Remember what I told you. The more afraid you are, the more powerful the darkness is. Remember?” Tia nodded. “Good. Don’t be afraid, I’ll protect you. Even if Voldemort himself came to get you. Understand?”
   “You said Voldemort was dead.” Tia had a feeling there was more to this than she knew.
   Mara looked carefully into her daughter’s eyes. She started to speak, then changed her mind. “That’s right,
he’s dead. So don’t worry.”
   “Okay.” Tia still thought something was wrong, but now didn't seem to be a good time to press the point.
   “Good.” The pair stood on the lawn, waiting. Suddenly the girl tugged on her mother’s cloak. “What is it, honey?”
   “I’m not afraid.” Tia insisted.
   “Of course not.”
   “I was just worried about Kerry, that’s all.”
   Mara squeezed her hand, and then the sky exploded. Three broomsticks came screaming towards them. Tia stepped back and ducked instinctively. One of the three stopped just above them, it’s rider scanning the ground. “The other family must have headed for the woods,” he called. “Go after them. I’ll take care of this.” Two riders nodded and shot off after Kerry and his
parents.
   The third lowered his broomstick slowly and dismounted, holding the broom next to him like a staff. His robes slid back, revealing the tattoo of snake and skull on his arm, still glowing faintly with borrowed power. He pushed back his hood, ignoring the rain, which slid off a magical barrier that protected him with a faint hissing sound.
   “Have you decided to join us at last?” Seth asked.
   “Hardly. Voldemort is dead. Without that extra boost, I’m far better than you, and you know it.” Her eye flicked derisively to the mark on his arm, already dimmer than it was before. “Give it up now, Seth. You’ll never get a better chance. We’ll tell the Ministry you were controlled, disappear for a while, and no one will ever be the wiser.”
   “Voldemort may be temporarily defeated,” Seth
emphasized carefully. “But he will return. I won’t be so foolish as to betray him in an assumed moment of weakness.”
   “He’s not coming back. Don’t delude yourself. It’s over, we’ve won. You don’t want to be on the wrong side of this. They’ll send you to Azkaban, Seth, and not for a short stay.”
   “I gave my soul to Voldemort a long time ago. The dementors are nothing compared to him.”
   Mara sighed. “I guess I was wrong. Again.” She snatched her wand from beneath her robes. “Incensor!” A ball of flame sprouted from her wand and broke against the dark wizard’s shield. The shield flickered and died out, taking the fireball with it. Seth looked displeased. He raised his wand, and then hesitated. His eyes drifted to Tia, standing a little behind her mother.
   “You would bring her here?” he said, anger showing for the first time on his face. “Use her for a shield?”
   “It works, doesn’t it? You still can’t harm her, can
you? Perhaps you’re not as loyal to Voldemort as you claim.”
   “I know Voldemort told me to get rid of you both, but….I think my child will be more valuable raised in the dark arts. I’m sure My Lord will agree, once she is well trained.”
   Mara moved to stand next to her daughter. “A fine excuse, Seth, but you know it won’t happen. Tia’s going to Hogwarts next year. I’d hoped we could send her together, but…”
   Seth didn’t give her a chance to finish. “You think I’ll let you send her to that disgrace of a school? To the mockery they make of Salazar Slytherin’s name? To Dumbledore? I will follow Lord Voldemort’s orders first!” He raised his arm, preparing the final curse. “Avada…
   “Immobilus!” Mara shouted, waving her wand. Strands of magic wrapped around her husband and held him fast before he could complete the phrase. He struggled against the bonds, but the spell didn’t waver.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:56:21 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #53 on: December 25, 2002, 03:06:07 AM »

   “Are you all right, Tia?” dropping her wand, she knelt by her daughter, who hadn’t moved from the spot. The mother’s face was ashen, frightened by what had almost happened. Deborah had been right after all. “Are you all right?”
   “I’m fine.” Tia whispered. “I wasn’t afraid. He wouldn’t really have…I mean…he wouldn’t.” She looked at her mother.
   “Not anymore.” Mara looked at her husband’s immobilized form. “Not anymore.”
   There was a loud pop overhead, and suddenly the sky was full of wizards. Several circled down to land next to Tia and her mother. “Mrs. Raven? Are you all right? We came as fast as we could, Mr. Madden told us…” The speaker caught sight of Seth. “Thank goodness.” He waved to the others, several of which circled down to the captured Deatheater and began strengthening the enchantment. “Come, we’d better go somewhere else. Others might come looking for him.” Mara took hold of Tia’s hand, and the whole group teleported at once.
   They appeared in a large room in what seemed to be the Ministry headquarters. Tia only got a brief glimpse around before she was distracted by a shout from across the room. “Tia!” Kerry was running towards her. He stopped when he saw her father, under custody of several Aurors, who were arguing about the best way to remove the curse without allowing the captive to escape. “Um…I mean…” he stopped, confused.
   “Mother stopped him.” Tia said, matter-of-factly. She wasn’t about to let Kerry know how frightened she was. “It was so cool. You should have been there.” Frightened or not, she was somewhat proud of the fact that she’d been facing a dark wizard and Kerry had been hiding in the woods.
   “Tia!” Mara started to reprimand her, but was interrupted again by the return of her husband to motion. He gave an incoherent yell, then stopped, confused.
   “Don’t try anything, Mr. Raven.” One of the Aurors cautioned. “You’re surrounded.” Seth looked around angrily, his eyes coming to rest on Mara. He didn’t say anything, just glared, until the Aurors led him away. Tia’s mother looked at the floor.
   “Don’t worry, Mrs. Raven. You did the right thing.” A Ministry official stood before her. “You’re safe now, and your daughter, too. I wonder,” he added. “Could you tell us exactly what happened?”
   Mara nodded, and turned to her daughter. “Go with Kerry for a while, honey. I’m sure his parents want to know what happened. Why don’t you tell them about it?” Tia nodded and ran to Kerry as her mother turned away.
   “What happened?” he asked, as she caught his arm and dragged him out of the room. They found his parents in the hall.
   “Thank goodness,” Deborah let out a sigh of relief. “You’re all right.”
   “People keep saying that.” Tia commented, back to her normal self. Kerry was still pulling on her sleeve.
   “Hey! What happened?”
   “Well…” Tia started to explain, but she was distracted by a scrap of conversation drifting over from another group in the hall.
   “…Harry Potter…just a baby…”
   “…You-Know-Who, gone forever…
   “…a miracle…”
   “What are they talking about?” Tia asked Kerry’s father. He smiled at her.
   “Harry Potter, of course.”
   “Who’s he?” Something tugged at her memory. “Oh! Mother said the Potters killed Voldemort, right?”
   “Hush, Tia! The Potters didn’t kill him, their baby did! A little boy, barely a year old…isn’t it amazing?”
   “How could a baby kill Vol…I mean, um, You-Know-Who?” Tia felt stupid using that euphemism. It sounded ridiculous.
   “We don’t know, but he did. You-Know-Who tried to kill him along with his parents and it backfired. Harry Potter is something special, he stopped it without even trying!”
   Tia wanted to change the subject. Her own adventure was getting buried under this new topic, and she didn’t like it. The Madden family was now deep in discussion about Harry Potter, however, and Tia’s attempts to change the conversation had no effect. How could a baby have killed Voldemort? What was so special about this Harry Potter? It didn’t make any sense.
   “There you are.” Tia’s mother entered the hallway a few hours later.
   “Mara. We heard what happened. I’m sorry.” Deborah stood and went to comfort her friend, but Mara shook her head.
   “No. I was expecting it. You were right…” she glanced at Tia, who was watching them with that expression that meant she was listening to everything they said, and probably taking notes. “Anyway, it’s over now.”
   “Yes. Really over. You-Know-Who is gone, and the Deatheaters won’t have power for very much longer. We’ve been telling the whole story to Tia.”
   “Oh?”
   “Yeah. Voldemort was killed by a baby.” Tia was still frustrated.
   Mara smiled. “Now Tia, don’t sound so jealous, I’m sure you could have done it too, if you were in the same
position.”
   “Don’t tell her things like that, Mara, she might actually try something.” Charles whispered. “Well,” he said, a little louder. “It’s been a hard night. I think we should all go celebrate a little, yes?”
   “Is that really appropriate?” Deborah interjected. “I
mean,” she glanced warily at Mara.
   “Appropriate?” Mara smiled, a little sadly. “Voldemort, the epitome of evil, is defeated by a baby, the peak of innocence and good. Think about it. We won’t have to change residence every three weeks. Tia and Kerry can go to Hogwarts without fear of some monster popping out of the woodwork….” Mara continued her list, but Tia had stopped listening. Her clothes had dried, the hall felt warm and safe, and the whole incident with her father was turning into the kind of memory you don’t want to think about very often. In fact, the entire hall was fading, darkening. As the young Tia slipped into sleep she had the strangest feeling that she didn’t want to wake up again.




(Sorry again, guys. Personally, I hate flashbacks. But this one demanded to be written, despite the fact that it's horribly out of style with the rest of it. Bah, I'm
making excuses again. My mom would kill me.)
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 07:59:44 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #54 on: December 29, 2002, 12:36:20 PM »

Wow, I was expecting at least one piece of criticism for the last one. Maybe it only sounded horrible to me. Some days you just can't fix everything. Or maybe you've all just taken your death threats to other threads, hmmm? Anyway...



   Tia woke slowly, through a haze of pain and unfinished memories. She didn’t know where she was, but there was a fire burning, and for some reason she thought of a cabin in the woods and an unfair board
game.
   Memory returned with a start, and she leapt to her feet. Or at least she would have leapt to her feet if she’d been able to move. The best she managed was a kind of shiver. A binding spell. Only magic could hold a person that tightly. Suddenly Tia wished she was still
asleep. Looking around she saw Kerry, similarly held against a tree a few feet away. He was awake and staring at something on the other side of the small clearing they were in. The trees of the dark forest loomed all around. Obviously, the nightmare wasn’t over yet.
   “Father. She’s awake.” Grant was sitting on a stone nearby, watching her.
   “Just keep an eye on her. I’m busy.” Seldon senior was leaning over a bowl, mixing in some ingredients, and chanting occasionally. Then Tia caught sight of the large red and gold candle, burning brightly. It was very near the end. She swallowed.
   “How long was I…?”
   “Quite some time.” Grant grinned. He was probably enjoying his revenge. “Your magic resistance must be pretty low. Your friend here has been awake for hours.”
   Tia ignored that. “Everyone at the castle will have figured it out by now.” She was fairly certain the teachers couldn’t ignore the fact that two students had
gone missing, put together with what she had told Dumbledore. “They’ll be swarming all over this forest soon.”
   “You think so? I was under the impression you were on such bad terms with the staff they wouldn’t lift a finger to help you.”
   “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m still a student…we’re still students…they can’t let anything happen to any student…” Tia was having trouble thinking straight.
   “Actually, we’re counting on that. You see, this process gives off quite a bit of magical energy. Enough to bring us to the notice of a sensitive wizard like Dumbledore, even without you trying to warn him. It was a risk we were prepared to take. Until you solved it for us.”
   “What do you mean?” Tia already knew, but asked anyway.
   “You’re hostages, of course. Those teachers don’t dare come anywhere near this forest so long as we have you alive. We sent them an ultimatum saying as much, and they haven’t bothered us since. Really, it was extremely generous of you. I’m sure Lord Voldemort will be very…grateful.”
   Tia felt sick. Partly because she was listening to a Gryffindor use the most cliché evil lines in the book, but mostly because she’d been stupid enough to get into a situation where cliché lines were appropriate. “You know, I really have no clue how you ended up in Gryffindor.” She muttered.
   “Oh but I do.” Tia hadn’t pegged Grant as the type to enjoy showing off, but obviously she'd had it wrong. “It wasn’t easy, tricking that stupid rag of a hat, but patience will always prevail. Father started giving me memory charms months before I came to school. Soon, all I could think were silly little Gryffindorish thought about bravely standing up to those awful school bullies I’d heard so much about. I was frightened, but I cast away my fear and…boom! The hat put me in Gryffindor. Once safely ensconced, it was an easy matter for father to remove the charms and restore me to my normal self. And no one ever suspects a Gryffindor. It was a great place to be, even before father came up with this plan.” He waved a hand to the side, indicating that she knew the rest of the story.
   “So what you’re saying, is, you were supposed to be in Slytherin, but you tricked the hat into putting you in
Gryffindor.”
   “Pretty much.”
   “I’m disappointed. Here I was, really hoping for a chance to catch Gryffindor out, and here you are telling me you’re still a disgrace to my House.”
   “Disgrace?” Grant’s father finally turned. “You’re not
really one to talk. Consider your family. Your mother absolutely refused to join with Lord Voldemort, despite her honorable lineage, and your father was foolish enough to allow her to capture him following Voldemort’s temporary defeat. Insults to the Slytherin code.” He shook his head in mock dismay.
“Your father never should have sent us away. Three together, your mother wouldn’t have stood a chance. He must have been trying to protect you…isn’t that honorable?”
   “My father tried to kill me.” Tia corrected, bluntly.
   “Oh? Is that what happened. Tsk, couldn’t even kill a child right.”
   “Voldemort himself couldn’t kill a child right.”
   Seldon’s eyes flashed, but he controlled himself. Tia was oddly disappointed, she thought she must be losing her touch. Then again, goading the wizard into killing her was probably not the best way out of a hostage situation. Seldon just smiled and continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “A shame really, about your parents. They were both so skilled…how they produced you, I won’t ever understand.
   “Do you realize it was your incompetence that
helped us out on another aspect of this endeavor? Ah, I see you don’t. This spell required some very rare ingredients, and we were wondering how we could obtain some without causing an uproar over their theft. Then the stock room went up in flames…and suddenly everything that disappeared was blamed on the fire. No one remembered that they’d kept the truly valuable reagents behind fire-proof barriers. They were too busy being angry…at you.” He smiled. Tia looked away, met Kerry’s gaze. His eyes flickered to the candle and back. Forget the insults, he was clearly saying. We need to do something about that.
   Her eyes were drawn back to the candle. It was burning very bright, and grew brighter the lower it
burned. This couldn’t be happening. Voldemort was going to come back, and it would be her fault. Well, partly. The only one of the people to blame who didn’t want it to happen, anyway. She couldn’t really count Kerry. He never should have been dragged into this. She glanced over at him again, but he was focused on the candle, still trying to think of a way out. Which is what she should be doing as well. Tia forced herself to think, but it wasn’t easy.
   Grant and his father were watching the flame eagerly. Maybe it wouldn’t work. Right, and maybe her wand would fly across the clearing of its own volition and allow her to stop this whole mess before…before…
   The wand. Wizards used wands to help channel their energy, to make spells more powerful. A simple spell wouldn’t need a wand to work, something that any child could cast. Tia used to make little balls of light dance around her room at home…but what good would a ball of light do? That required too much hand movement anyway, she doubted she could do more than clench a fist…and…she had it!
   Tia closed her eyes, concentrating, picturing the clearing around her in her mind. She imagined her hand over it, descending. Then, as quickly as she could against the spell that bound her, she closed her hand
around itself. Symbolism was always a big deal in those little spells.
   “Noctem.” She whispered, and darkness descended. It wasn’t as powerful as when she’d cast it back at the school, but it was enough to cover the glade. Someone gave a cry of dismay. Tia felt the spell
holding her lift, as it’s caster put all his energy into trying to maintain the candle. Tia shot forward in the dark. “Kerry!” she called. “The spell!” She knew
the candle was actually still alight, hidden behind the illusion of darkness, and it wouldn’t be long before Seldon realized it as well. She flung her arms out
wide and connected with something metallic. The bowl. She gripped the edge and flung it as hard as she could. She heard it crash against something, and then the darkness lifted.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 08:03:55 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #55 on: December 29, 2002, 12:36:37 PM »

   Seldon stood, wand ablaze with light, and stared at the remains of the potion, dripping down a tree trunk. Then he spun to watch as the candle, reaching the end of it’s life, suddenly flared bright as the sun. They watched as the light diminished, revealing…an unburned candle. The dark wizard gazed at the stretch of tallow, and then turned, very slowly, towards Tia. She took one look at his eyes and ran, just as Kerry headed in the opposite direction.
   “Stop them!” Tia heard the shout, and then Grant barreled into her from the side. She tripped and fell, trying to roll out of his way, but he followed too fast. She felt him catch hold of her arm, and then blast of magic flew past her, catching him full in the chest and knocking him up against a tree, where he slid to the ground, unconscious yet again.
   Tia stood up carefully, looking around in surprise.
Professor Snape was standing just outside the firelight, wand still raised and looking like he’d enjoyed the excuse to hit someone, especially a Gryffindor. For once, Tia couldn’t have been happier to see him. She turned back to the center of the clearing, in time to see several men, Ministry police by the look of them, take hold of a magically subdued Seldon. The dark wizard turned toward her and caught sight of Snape.
   “I should have known it would be you, traitor,” he hissed. Snape shrugged.
   “Silentius.” he said, waving his wand slightly. Seldon’s mouth snapped shut, though he looked as though he would like to say more. Tia started to ask, but Snape shot her a glance that said if she so much as
opened her mouth, he’d cast the same on her. She choked back the question and decided to file it away for later.
   Snape walked past the still-glaring Seldon and into the clearing, where Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore were waiting, with Kerry standing nearby. Tia took one look at the murder in Seldon’s eyes and hurried away. She didn’t want to be nearby if those Ministry police lost control. Finding herself in front of the
three most feared teachers in Hogwarts, however, she suddenly wondered if she wouldn’t prefer Seldon. Or Voldemort for that matter.
   Kerry ran forward to meet her. “Tia! You’re alright…I thought we were both…” He glanced around, saw the teachers glaring at him. “I mean…”
   “Miss Tiamat Raven!” McGonagall finally broke in. “Do you have any idea what almost happened here?”
   “Do I…have any…idea?” Tia was shocked. What kind of a stupid question was that? And how come they immediately assumed it was her fault? She took a step forward, a millimeter from telling every teacher there exactly what she thought of them and their regard for the intelligence of students, when the glade started to spin around her. Grateful for the hand of fate that saved her from doing something stupid, she decided
that fainting would be an extremely proper action, under the circumstances.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 08:05:40 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #56 on: December 31, 2002, 08:17:43 AM »

Sorry for the late response. Kidney

stones'll do that to you.

Anyway, very cool! I didn't mind the flashback at all. It was quite cool, in fact.

*aims wand* Now where's the

rest of it?

:)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #57 on: December 31, 2002, 01:21:00 PM »

Waaaah! See? Threats, threats!

I'm never writing anything ever again! I'm a terrible liar.
Kidney stones? I'm sorry. Hope you feel better.
Anyway, here's the end (finally!) There's a lot I thought about changing, at about four AM last night, but I'm too lazy, so let your imagination fill in the plot-holes, ne?


   She woke in the infirmary at Hogwarts, and was never more grateful to see a place in her life. She was less
grateful when she looked over and saw Dumbledore watching her.
   “Back to the world of the living, hmmm?” said the
headmaster, sounding amused as always.
   “I think so,” Tia tried sitting up, with no adverse effects. “Give me a few minutes to make sure.”
   Dumbledore nodded, that seemed a perfectly reasonable request. Tia took the extra time to scan the infirmary. There were no other occupants. “Where’s Kerry? Is he alright?”
   “He’s fine. Madame Pomfrey let him out two days
ago.”
   “Two…days?” Tia blinked in surprise and looked around again. The afternoon sun streamed in through the windows. She wondered how long she’d been out this time.
   Finally, her curiosity got the better of her. “What happened?” she asked, trying not to sound too interested. The headmaster smiled. Tia got the feeling he enjoyed explaining things.
   “After you stormed so heatedly out of my office, I was quite certain you were about to do something rash and sent a message to Hagrid to keep a watch on the forest borders. You see, we were perfectly aware of the fact that something was going on, and your report only confirmed it. Not to mention giving us a name, which we
would have acted on had you not taken the job upon yourself. My denial of your suspicions was meant to discourage, not encourage you. I hardly expected a student, especially a student with so much adverse experience with dark wizards, to go chasing after one into the depths of the dark forest in the middle of the night.
   “We realized the worst soon after. A friend of yours, one Cynthia Port, came tearing into my office not
twenty minutes later, insisting that you’d gone off to get yourself killed and taken Kerry with you.”
   “Cynthia! But she didn’t know anything about…” Tia had a sudden memory of bursting in on a common room full of Hufflepuffs. Cynthia could have been there, and she would be exactly the type to listen at the door while she and Kerry talked. “Oh,” Tia recovered. “I’m surprised she cared.” Then again, with Kerry along, of course she would.
   “She seemed quite upset to me. There was nothing to do but send someone out to find where you’d gone. While we were searching, Hagrid contacted me, telling me some of his friends in the forest had seen a sort of broomstick chase going on among the trees. It wasn’t hard to pinpoint your location after that. Though how you got past Hagrid in the first place, I don’t know.”
   “There’s a passage…from a room on the first floor. Ember…my cat, showed me. It opens into the dark forest.”
   “Cats are such astounding creatures. We shall have the passage sealed immediately. Can’t have students accidentally wandering into the forest. Or the forest wandering into the school for that matter.” Dumbledore shook his head, seeming to forget Tia’s existence for a moment. “Ah! Where was I. Oh yes.  
    “Once we knew where you were, we of course set out to stop Seldon, but we were cut short by the arrival of an unfamiliar owl. It carried a message from Seldon
that cautioned us to keep away from his hideout or he’d start sending pieces of our ‘wayward students’ back to us in little boxes. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told you that?” He peered at Tia over his glasses.
   “Standard dark wizard threat,” she stated, trying to hide the fact that she felt slightly ill. Standard threats were one thing, having them applied to oneself quite another. Dumbledore smiled again. She decided that the headmaster had a well-hidden sadistic sense of humor.
   “I’m sure Seldon expected us to back out completely, but we had no intention of abandoning a student so easily, as you stated so vehemently before.” Tia jumped. “Yes, Hagrid has many friends in the forest willing to spy for him. They relayed everything that went on to us, quite accurately, without being seen. We were preparing to make an attack while Seldon was distracted by the near-completion of his spell, but you cut us off. That darkness trick. Even Severus was impressed, and you know that takes quite a bit of doing.” Dumbledore chuckled, obviously amused, but Tia remembered something else.
   “Professor Snape…Seldon said…” she started, but Dumbledore cut her off.
   “As to that, I suggest you forget you ever heard it. Or at least, if you must pry, you can ask the Professor himself.” Tia sighed. Dumbledore knew full well she’d never ask Snape anything. Seeing no further questions, the headmaster continued.
   “You know the rest. Seldon has been taken to Azkaban. The Ministry is quite excited, as you might guess. Unfortunately, it seems he was acting on his own, having had no contact with any others of his set for some time. The dark wizards left these days are
truly the most slippery of them all.” Dumbledore shook his head. “Grant is also in protective custody. They are sure he can be, ah, cured. He is still so young.” He sighed. “He will not be returning to Hogwarts, at any rate. It is a shame, I hate to lose a student.”
   “I hardly think Grant counts as a loss,” Tia muttered. “He was in the wrong House anyway.”
   “Do you think so? He may have been destined for
Gryffindor after all. It takes a good amount of courage to pretend to be what you think you are not and defy an entire school of wizards. Loyalty to family, certainly, and a willingness to do what he thought right at all costs. Those sound like Gryffindor traits to me.” Dumbledore lowered his spectacles and winked at her. “That old hat is harder to fool than you might think.”
   Tia wondered. She hadn’t had much of a discussion with the sorting hat when she came to Hogwarts. When she’d put the thing on, it just sat silent for a long time, until she’d yelled at it to hurry up and put her somewhere or she was going to take it off and burn it. It then announced her to be in Slytherin, and sounded quite pleased with itself.
   “Still, you’re the last student I would expect to be bothered by a little stretching of the House guidelines.” Dumbledore continued. “After all, some might call your actions in the forest very…un-Slytherinish.”
   “What…” Tia protested. “Acting on a chance to make Gryffindor look bad?”
   “Ah, so that was your motivation. Of course. Nevertheless, your ‘unmotivated’ actions may very well win the House cup for Slytherin yet again,” Tia blinked in surprise. “If only by reversing the negative pointage caused by some earlier ‘accidents’. I, for one, would have thought it impossible, but Slytherin does have a way of coming out on top despite it all, doesn’t it, hmmmm. Even if it means bringing in dark wizard to be conveniently defeated.
   “Anyway, Madame Pomfrey has said that you are to rest for the remainder of the day, at least. She believes you have a fairly low magic tolerance, did you know that?”
   “That’s what Grant said,” Tia muttered.
   “Ah. My apologies.” Dumbledore rose from his seat.
   “Wait.” Tia stopped him. “I need to ask. Would that candle…would it really have summoned Voldemort back from the dead?”
   Dumbledore looked thoughtful. “The phoenix candle was designed to bring back a spirit from the dead. I have never believed Voldemort to be truly dead, and so the candle would most likely not have worked on him.”
   Tia slumped back against her pillows. “So it was all pointless.”
   “Do you think so?” Dumbledore smiled again. “If it makes you feel better, lighting that candle in the dark forest could have summoned any one of a thousand other nasty things, so it’s probably best that the spell did not get completed.”
   “I guess so.” Dumbledore started to leave again, when something else clicked in Tia’s mind. “Wait! You said Voldemort isn’t dead? I’d heard rumors, but….so what was all that mess with Harry Potter?
Where is he? Will he come back? What…”
   Dumbledore made calming motions with his hands. “So many questions all of a sudden. None of which I have the answer to, unfortunately. Don’t worry. He is very much out of power right now, and most likely won’t come back any time soon.”
   “Somehow, I’m not comforted.”
   “Not many of us are. Good afternoon.” Dumbledore said, and let himself out.

« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 08:10:50 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #58 on: December 31, 2002, 01:21:18 PM »


   The next day, Tia snuck out of the infirmary. She’d stayed as long as Dumbledore had said, and she wasn’t going to stay any longer, in case Madame Pomfrey decided one of her foul-tasting brews was in order. Closing the door behind her, she crept down the halls until she was out of the area. This accomplished, she found herself at a loss. Should she go back to class today, or wait until tomorrow? She thought about the possibilities involved in facing Snape during Potions and decided to wait. Nearly half the school year was left for him to glare at her, what difference would one less day make? She wandered back to the Slytherin common room instead.
   Kerry was waiting for her outside the door. “Tia! I knew you wouldn’t go to class today. I wanted to see you earlier, but you know Madame Pomfrey. I was so worried! I thought you’d never wake up.”
   “You thought wrong.”
   “That’s horrible, Tia, I really was worried.”
   Tia sighed. “Sorry. I’m just feeling incredibly stupid right now.”
   “Why?”
   “Why? Come on, Kerry! I ran off like an idiot to stop some dark wizard who, for all I knew, could have had eleven or so friends waiting in the forest with him. Plus, I dragged you along too, and we both could have been killed!” She shook her head in exasperation with herself. “You should have stopped me.”
   “Could I have stopped you?” Kerry asked.
   “Point.”
   “So I thought it better to go with you, at least. I admit, I didn’t believe you at first. I thought you were just seeing another story, like the time you thought Professor McGonagall was a ghost who walked through walls, until we found out she was using the cat door.”
   “Hmph. You didn’t need to tell me that, I was fine with believing you trusted me. Oh well, I guess it was best that you came along, anyway. I mean…” Tia wondered how to phrase it. “You were really helpful back there. I couldn’t have done it on my own.”
   Kerry shrugged. “Against Grant, maybe, but I was worse than useless against his father.”
   “Weren’t we all.” Tia stared at the wall for a minute. “You know, I think I’m going to start paying
attention in Defense Against the Dark Arts.”
   “Good idea.”
   “No. Really. You see, the Headmaster said something strange. That Voldemort will likely try to come back. For real, not as a side effect of some inept candle xperiment. If….no, when he does, I want to fight it.”
   Kerry was silent for a while, then he smiled. “I bet you’d be good at it too. You could get some pointers
from your mom.”
   Tia groaned. “Oh I can’t wait ‘til she hears about this.”
   “I don’t think she’ll be too disappointed.”
   “Well…” Tia as interrupted by a new arrival in the hall.
   “There you are!” Cynthia broke in. “Oh, you’re up.” She looked a little annoyed, but she masked it and went on. “Can you believe someone gave her more points than you for this whole incident? Kerry? The whole school’s talking about it. Hufflepuff and Slytherin are nearly tied again!”
   “Are they?” Tia was surprised. “How so…?”
   “Snape.” Kerry sighed. “He jumped at the chance to put Slytherin back in the listings, and started giving
you points for things no one else would have thought of.”
   “Really?” Tia grinned. “Well well.”
   Cynthia sniffed. “You sound surprised. Snape’s never been one to miss an opportunity, you know.” Tia continued to grin at her. “Knock it off.”
   “Sorry.”
   “What she means is,” Kerry broke in. “Is ‘thanks for telling Dumbledore we were in danger’. Right, Tia?”
   “Huh? What? Oh. That. Well…” Tia gave in. “Yeah. Thanks. I’m sure he would have gotten around to it
anyway…”
   “Tia!”
   “Well he would have.” Tia refused to meet his eye. “Okay, okay, I thanked her! Stop staring at me. I still don’t understand why, though…” she said, turning back to Cynthia, who glared at her.
   “I’m not such a bad person, really. Not enough to let two people go off and get themselves killed by a dark wizard when I could do something to stop it. What did you think I’d do, throw a party and say ‘Welcome back, Voldemort!’” She looked a little shocked at herself for using the name, but it didn’t last long.
   “Well, when you put it that way…” Tia looked embarrassed again.
   “She does!” Kerry interrupted. “Does this mean you’ll stop trying to kill each other?”
   “Fine, but that’s all.”
   “Oh come on…”
   “No way.” Tia turned her back on them both. “I bet this was all just a ploy to get me to like your new
girlfriend.”  
   “She’s not my girlfriend!” Kerry protested, followed closely by Cynthia. “Was that what you were worried about all this time?” He snickered.
   “Worried? Who’s worried? I don’t care if you have a
girlfriend.”
   “Right.” Cynthia smirked.
   “What’s that supposed to mean?”
   “Nothing.”
   “Nothing?”
   “Nothing!”
   “Right.”
   “Oh come on, both of you…” Kerry tried again.
   “Well,” Tia said. “At least I’m getting my Potions
partner back, right Kerry?”
   “Of course.”
   “Yeah, take him. Make sure you lose some points for
Slytherin, okay?” Cynthia suggested.
   “Not a chance, if Snape’s back in form.”
   Cynthia sighed. “Oh well, at least Gryffindor’s out of the running this year.” She brightened. “Anyway, we’re only tied, and we still have almost half the year to break it!” Her smile took on an evil glint again. “That’s plenty of time for you to blow up the lab again, eh, Tia?”
   “Eh, Tia?” echoed Kerry.
   “I’ll just ignore that.” Tia sniffed.

   Life was back to normal.

« Last Edit: November 28, 2003, 08:14:05 PM by Tiamat »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #59 on: December 31, 2002, 11:46:03 PM »

wow, there was so much to

read! I liked it! and the  time periods was good too. Not much went on there, that we know about, so it fits seamlessly with canon, which I like. Ooo, if

there's a sequel, there could be cameos from Bill and Charlie, I think they'd be at school at this point.

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #60 on: January 01, 2003, 12:36:28 AM »

Hmmm, you're right. But that

would involve me actually attempting to fit around a time-line. I'm really bad at that, but I could try, if I get motivated to write more. That, of course,

depends on whether or not I can drag some constructive criticism out of someone. (I tried showing it to my boyfriend and all he would say was 'that's

cool!' I think he's afraid he might insult me or something ;) Bah, I really don't get insulted. Easily anyway.)


I was working on a couple of

basic ideas when I started writing this:
Number three, Voldemort must have been trying to come back from the day of his defeat, he wouldn't have

waited until Harry was at Hogwarts. Harry just increased his motivation.
Number two, Slytherin had a very long winning streak before Harry came to

school. It couldn't all have been gained by cheating and gratuitous point-giving by Snape. Somewhere in there, there is room for a Slytherin 'hero'. Sort

of.
And number one, of course, I wanted to make an evil Gryffindor. So there.

Anyway, it's over now, so I was wondering if any of you could

tell me what, over all, you think. This was kind of an excersize for me, a way to force myself to actually finish a story. I'm working on several other, non

fan-fic things that I keep getting stuck on and I needed a break. If this one turned out well, however I might be able to work on the others again, you

know?




Hmm....did Bill or Charlie play Quidditch? I think at least one of them did. I can't remember and I can't look it up right now

because my books were stolen. (not that I'm bitter) One more reason I can't fit with a time-line.

Argh! Now you're giving me ideas! I hate you

all. *grin*
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #61 on: January 02, 2003, 07:17:09 AM »

IIRC, Charlie was a beater. No actual

quotes on that. :)

I can't think of anything more to say than gushing. I'll try to go over the story again later today to get a more formalized

opinion on it. :)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #62 on: January 02, 2003, 05:47:11 PM »

IIRC? What's that? Charlie

was a Seeker in the books. Now that I think about it Tia, Bill probably would have graduated by the time you and Kerry were in sixth year, but Charlie was

probably still around.

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #63 on: January 02, 2003, 06:16:23 PM »

Hmmm. Well, I'll look into it. But I

refuse to write anything else unless I have it all planned first. This one was a nightmare, what with me getting stuck midway through (for three

months no less!) and trying to fix the plot without back-editing capabilities. Grrr...
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #64 on: January 04, 2003, 03:38:36 AM »

There there, there there
*pats Tia

comfortingly on the shoulder*
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #65 on: January 04, 2003, 01:01:23 PM »

You just stay out of this!

;)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #66 on: January 04, 2003, 06:46:32 PM »

Awwww, do I have too??
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #67 on: January 04, 2003, 07:28:52 PM »

you might

want to Verkolak.  You have a sword but she has a pen.  She might satirize you if you're not careful.

BTW, cool story Tia.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #68 on: January 04, 2003, 07:38:39 PM »

I am not afraid of

satire, I'm a Nazgul for crying out loud the public's opinion of me can't get much worse than it already is.

(And I also think it

is a cool story.)
« Last Edit: January 04, 2003, 07:39:43 PM by Verkolak Nightblade »
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #69 on: January 04, 2003, 08:05:54 PM »

*looks  a little

closer*  hmm...  Nazgûl? Right... uh-huh you just keep telling yourself that.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #70 on: January 04, 2003, 09:29:43 PM »

Hrmph. Take your nazgul off my

story-page :P

Thanks, AG :)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #71 on: January 06, 2003, 03:07:24 PM »

Charlie was captain

of the Quidditch team, and Bill was Head Boy.  Ron says so when he meets Harry on the train in book one.  Anyway, that would be pretty cool.  We also

know there was another Care of Magical Creatures teacher and another DADA professor (obviously).  I think that's close to all we know for certain about

pre-"canon" Hogwarts (other than the fifty years ago stuff.)  I'd like to see more, Tia.

You know, I'm really trying to find some

constructive critcism, but I'm having a hard time with it.  Just reading it for pleasure, and not as an editor, I really enjoyed it and saw no problems with it.  

The only thing I might change is the way you describe Tia's moods.  I kinda get the impression that she was really petulant most of the time, and I think

you could give it more variety without changing her personality.  Does that make any sense?  More annoyance, more obvious embarassment and the

so-often-accompanying anger, more jealousy.  ...  I'm not really sure how, except in the wording around those moments, so that's probably really not

helpful, but....  Yeah.  That's my one (hopefully) useful thought.

Good luck with the next one!
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #72 on: January 06, 2003, 07:53:16 PM »

O_O Whoo!!! I just finished

reading the last 6 segments... ^__^ This rivals Immortality Symdrome as my favorite fanfic. I don't normally read HP fanfiction, but this one was cool...

uhh... I suppose I could try and find something wrong with it if you wanted... but that would require extreme nit-pickyness. Lets see... umm... you

had an evil Gryffindor? LOL, no actually I liked that part to tell you the truth. It added a nice touch to the story. Finally the stereotype is broken and the

tables are turned. Snape actually dislikes one of his own house members, and a Gryffindor turns out to be in league with YKW. I liked that touch. ^_^

well... I don't know what else to say, and I probably made about 50 typos in this post, so I think I'll just stop for awhile...

[/gush]
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #73 on: January 06, 2003, 08:38:42 PM »

I like the fact that Snape dislikes a

member of his own House, but he's not going to let it get in the way of winning the Cup.

Er...not to comment on my own writing or anything. It

just seemed like something Snape would do.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #74 on: January 15, 2003, 03:51:57 PM »

Cool, Tia.  I liked it a

lot.   It's nice to see people who can write fic that doesn't revolve around them becoming the best friend, or saving the life, of Harry  Potter.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #75 on: January 15, 2003, 05:37:34 PM »

Okay, Tia, I thought

of something.  As I remember, the first time I read it, it was really a surprise to me how Grant had gotten into Gryffindor.  I wasn't entirely sure it would

have worked.  Dumbledore's comment at the end helped with that, but I would like to see you add some more ... well, depth to Grant through the

beginning of the story - more color, more... description.  I want to see him being not very Gryffindor-ish when talking to Tia.  Maybe he'll catch himself,

and try to correct it, but I didn't get as strong a feel for that as I did for, for example, Tia's and Kerry's relationship.  ... Does that

help?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #76 on: January 15, 2003, 06:52:05 PM »

It does actually. I wanted to fix

Grant's character quite a bit as the story went on, but since I'd already posted those segments I couldn't change them right then. I tried to

"back-fix" it with the later segments, but...

Also, I'm terrible at description. I hate it (not in other writing, only my own). If you notice,

not one of the characters has a physical description. I always for get to put it in, or it sounds stupid, etc. I know what they look like, and I tend to assume

everyone else does, even though I know they don't, hehe.

I feel like I should just add a picture, or a stock description at the beginning of a

story. "Here are the characters. Now forget about it."

I much prefer conversations.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #77 on: January 17, 2003, 04:13:26 PM »

Heh.  It sounds like

we should get together and write a story.  I'm great with description, but awful at conversation.  Plus I can't come up with a decent plot by myself.  I

have to have someone giving me ideas that I can bounce off of.  ... From which I can bounce?  Hm.  Sometimes my grammar's not too great

either.

I guess I'm more of a poet than a story writer.  Too bad even I don't always enjoy READING poetry, just writing it.  :D

:P
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #78 on: March 09, 2003, 04:18:30 PM »

Tia, I just read the whole story

for the first time today (I WAS AWOL when you were writing this, I think.  At least for part of it, anyway).  I have one word:  AWESOME!  Really!  I'm not

just saying that to be polite.  I tend to be tough on lots of things.  I like the plot twist with the evil Gryffindor, particularly because it's very much like

something JKR would do (make the dark wizard someone that would be really hard to suspect).  I also like the cat thing, though I agree that the part

where Tia thinks they're in the Forbidden Forest kind of comes out of nowhere.  

A couple of nitpicky things:  

The statue in front

of Dumbledore's office is a gargoyle in the books.  Not a griffin.  Wasn't sure if you changed that on purpose or not.  If so, I thought it was clever.  



I'm not quite sure I liked Dumbledore's reaction to Tia.  It seemed too, well, un-Dumbeldorish to me.  Perhaps it's just becase I'm used to

his reactions to Harry and perhaps his reactions to a Slytherin would be different, but it seems to me that he would probably have let Tia (the character, of

course.  Not you.  so confusing...) know with a little glance, a twinkle of the eye, some cryptic comment, something to let her know that he did in fact

believe her.  I don't know how much you were trying to capture the characters of the books accurately, but it just didn't seem like him to completely lie

to a student trying to help catch a dark wizard.  

Ummmm, other thoughts.  I liked the flashback quite a bit, actually.  I thought it effective and

I thought it particularly effective where it was placed.  If you were writing a novel rather than a short story, I would suggest the flashback to be earlier, but

that's irrelevant to what you did do.  To echo one of Ping's earlier comments, I liked the way you had the magic of the Hogwarts world placed in there so

casually, as if this is of course how all things are (the cleaning closet for one.  I liked the lid on the container of hot food, myself.  Opening and closing

until something appears that you like).  I like the curses and spells that you made up, too.  And the fight scene in the hallway was pretty cool.  Breaking

the stereotypes in general was fun (Cynthia was a little witch, if you ask me -- no pun intended).  

I think I might have liked it if you could have

developed more with the cat, but what you did do with the cat was pretty fun.  I also liked the broomstick chase inside the castle.  Pretty

out-of-the-box if you ask me.

All in all, two enthusiastic thumbs up (if I had more than two thumbs, I'd put them up, too).  If you do write

again, I'd love to read more.  

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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #79 on: March 11, 2003, 10:53:26 PM »

Thanks for the input, Cho. I'm glad

you like it, 'cause I liked writing it (Despite the copious amounts of complaining my roommates had to put up with during the process :) ) Umm, let's

see...

*grin* Somehow, I have this need to reply to every piece of advice people give me. Maybe it'll wear off eventually.

Yes, the

cat thing came out of nowhere. Er...would you believe I really did write a few extra scenes and such and then deleted them in a fit of self-frustration? And

then, because I'm just smart like that, forgot about it completely. :P The gaps are obvious to me, though the only one others have noticed is the cat ;)

Ember has a lot more personality in my mind than she ended up with on paper *sigh* Maybe next time.

Um, the doorwas a gargoyle? I could

have sworn...oh well. Technically a gargoyle is just a stone statue thing that sits on buildings...it can be any shape. So we can pretend it was a

griffin...because my books got stolen, I couldn't look anything up, and all I saw was the movies. (excuses, excuses)  ;D

As for Dumbledore's

reaction...well...I have always felt that he was a bit partial to Harry. He would let Harry do, and get away with, a lot more than he would anyone

else...otherwise Hogwarts would have zero discipline. He also confides in Harry more, tells him more, and explains more, naturally. But that's just my

opinion.

Also...he may have been dropping hints after all, but Tia...she's a bit dense sometimes, yes? (and I tried pretty hard to keep it to

Tia's point of view, though I may have slipped occaisionally) Also, in her subconcious mind, she very much would love to have the teachers not believe

her, so she'd have an excuse to point it out to them later. Yeah, she's petty like that.

(Actually...writing Dumbledore really bothered me...I

could not, for the life of me, write him right. So to speak. Points to JKR for making a frustratingly difficult character to copy.)

Ah well. I'm

thinking of writing another one (and I swore I never would), but...I can't come up with any complete plots. I used up too many ideas on this one, and all I

have left are fragments. Oh, and stuff that was way too over-used, angst-ridden, or just plain dumb, to make it in, hehe. I have a file on my computer of

'random' scenes. Sheesh.

Ideas, anyone?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #80 on: March 12, 2003, 03:21:13 AM »

Well, throw out a summary of

some of your random scenes.  Let's see if there's anything there that could turn into something.  

Er, are you asking for ideas for a story?  

Or ... um ... what are you asking ideas for?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #81 on: March 12, 2003, 05:42:21 AM »

Er, yes, what are you looking for?

/>
Also, as far as Dumbledore goes, yes, Tia might not believe that he believes her, but I think you could at least let the audience know. He winks

at her, for example, and she thinks he's just trying to rub in how much better Gryffindor is, but really he's trying to show that he does believe her.

Dramatic irony, and all that. :)

For character description problems, I highly recommend the first part of "Dynamic Characters,"

which is like $18 and a fascinating read all the way through. It's basically a guide to creating rich, full characters, and the ways to describe them and to

use their backgrounds to further the plot, or to create a plot if you're struggling. Very cool. :)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #82 on: March 12, 2003, 09:29:23 AM »

Dynamic characters? Hmm, is it a

normal book, or a school textbook? Author? (If you know) I could use some help in prodding along a plot I'm working on for something else, non-HP

related. I've got a beginning and an end and a few middle bits but it's a pain to connect them *sigh*

Dumbledore will be the bane of my

existence forever, probably because, deep down inside, I continue to harbor a random dislike formed in reading the first book, with no reasonable basis

whatsoever. *Shrug*

As for ideas...I'm open. Any random sort of thng you might have liked to see happen over the course of a fan-fic at some

point in time? (Aside from what you've said already, of course)

Of course, you might want to save it for your own if you have any outstanding

ideas. I'm just bored. Two words can sometimes give me an idea for a whole plot. (evil Gryffindor, for instance, but that one wasn't hard)

My

main problem right now is trying to think of something for Tia, and Kerry or whoever, to do that would be interesting, but not too, um...outstanding? I

mean, they took on a dark wizard already, what's next, Voldemort? That's too ridiculous. It's Harry's job, I can't give it to my characters. *grin* But

after the last one, it would be really boring to have a plot that revolved around passing a transfiguration exam, ya know?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #83 on: March 12, 2003, 09:33:27 AM »

Dynamic Characters is by Nancy

Kress, I believe. It's, um, probably more a "normal book on writing," which often have exercises on how to improve your writing. It's quite a

wonderful book. I'd recommend it even more that King's "On Writing," which was a fascinating read and made me like the man, if I still don't

actually read his books. :)

I'd be happy to help with any story. :)

As for fanfic ideas, what about some "dark wizard"

who missed the Voldemort times (was too young, maybe) but wants to be like Voldemort? A sort of copy-cat? Or maybe someone who just wants to

take this chance to get his own group of powerful bad guys going?
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #84 on: March 12, 2003, 10:11:36 AM »

That....is a fascinating idea. Hmm. I

need to ponder this for a few millenia.

To add to that, I was thinking of writing something in the summer-time, to add the extra 'benefit' of not

being able to practice magic, as students. Up go the challenges, and up goes the opportunity for me to think of more odd wizard-life objects to overcome

them :)

I think I'll look up that book, though I wish my local library didn't suck so much that I'll probably have to buy it to find out if I like

it.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #85 on: March 12, 2003, 10:48:03 AM »

If you take that long to put up another

story, you realize we're going to have to hurt you, don't you? *eg*

But that does sound like a cool idea for adding a level of tension to the

story!

It is well worth the $ you'll spend. And if not, I'll buy it off you. :)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #86 on: March 12, 2003, 11:37:12 AM »

What about

something more kid-based, like (possibly accidentally) foiling the plans of some bullyish mischief makers that would end up being particularly bad?  

In-house conflict?  I can see Tia accidentally screwing up the plans of some group of Slytherins who decide to get a... say a really good Ravenclaw

Quidditch player, their star athlete, injured during or before a game with Slytherin.  *shrug*  Maybe I just spend too much time with avid "sport

fans."

As for my truly brilliant ideas... well, when I get any, they're mine!  :D
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #87 on: March 12, 2003, 11:57:32 AM »

Of course, I only steal truly brilliant

ideas from already published authors ;)

I'll see what I feel like writing over the next couple weeks or so. I had some ideas for a not-so-serious

Quidditch-based story that might be kind of like what Mad was suggesting...but if I have the time and inclination to put some effort into it, I might go for

something more like Ping's. Or both. (If I'm trying to kill myself) But we all know about my random bouts of creativity and/or writer's block, so who

knows?

I wanted to play some more with the social results of the last story, hehe. Plus, I've still got nearly half of the same year to mess

around with. (Though I doubt even Tia is inclined to try anything else particularly insane after that mess. Well, not right away, anyway.)

Or I'll

just keep meandering around in circles on this thread, in an attempt not to write anything interesting at all. *ducks*
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #88 on: March 12, 2003, 12:37:42 PM »

Here's something.  I don't

know if this is too, Chamber of Secrets-ish, but it wasn't clear to me after your last story whether Tia belonged in Slytherin or not.  It seemed like the hat

just "put" her there because she didn't want to keep sitting on the chair waiting for it to make up its mind.  Granted we've had lots of

"the hat is never wrong" RPing here on this thread, and it runs through your story, too.  I wonder, though, if there's any doubt in Tia's mind

that she belongs in Slytherin?  And, perhaps, what does it mean to be in Slytherin if you're not evil?  

One of the characters I find most

fascinating is Snape precisely because he is one of the "good guys" but is so one-sided, unreasonable, oily, vindictive, and mean.  But he's a

good guy.  So what's the line?  And when does one cross it?  And why does one person cross it when another doesn't?  Does that make sense?  

What's the difference between just plain Slytherin (whatever that is) and evil?  And where does Tia fit in and how?  I know that's not a plot, but it's an

idea of something to bat around during a story.
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #89 on: March 12, 2003, 01:27:55 PM »

That is exactly the sort of thing that

keeps Tia awake at night ;) But she would be about as loathe to be in Gryffindor as Harry was to be in Slytherin. Maybe she'd like to be in Hufflepuff with

Kerry? Heh. There's always that family thing, too. I mean, I have a feeling Ron would never have been in Gryffindor if his whole family wasn't. I always

fancied him kind of a Hufflepuff, myself. But then again, I have some odd ideas of house distinctions anyway. (and why am I so down on Hufflepuff

anyway?)


Actually, I did want to play more with the house distinctions and what made who what in the last story, but I got side tracked

by a dark wizard who blew all the boundaries into a black hole. (I have to admit that story was not originally meant to go anywhere like where it did) So,

yes I want to include that sort of debate a little more.

Hmmm, yep I'm getting ideas. You guys are great :)
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Re:My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #90 on: March 12, 2003, 02:16:15 PM »

By the way, I don't know if

anyone ever answered you because I skipped all the posts between the parts of your story, but the Care of Magical Creatures prof before Hagrid was

Professor Kettleburn.  He was taking an early retirement because we wanted to have more time to spend with his remaining limbs.  


/>Divinations is, of course, Trelawney.
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Re: My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #91 on: October 11, 2004, 04:32:42 PM »

Ever need help w/ fan-fic.. I'm your girl.. i write my own fan-fic.. so here's the link if you'd like to read it..

http://www.quizilla.com/users/sexximama1/quizzes

there are 13 currently in the series
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Re: My Attmept at a Story
« Reply #92 on: October 18, 2004, 09:25:09 PM »

There is now 14 i think i dunno if it posted or not!

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